November 20, 2009
It seems that rudeness has reached epidemic proportions ” from celebrity meltdowns to excessive cell phone use to obnoxious drivers. Rude people don’t always dial in to the impact their behavior has on others. Whether you’re dealing with an aggressive coworker or family member, or you’re the one with a rude attitude, Dr. Phil has advice.
Develop Empathy for Others.
Do you say what’s on your mind regardless of whether you hurt someone else’s feelings? It is your way or the highway? Instead of chewing a waiter’s head off for mixing up your order, or constantly interrupting your relatives to get your point across, try to see things from the other person’s point of view.
Engage People in a Way that Protects Their Self-Esteem.
Do you laugh your friends’ expense? Do you always have a sarcastic comment about everything?
“If you’re making a joke, and you’re the only one laughing, that’s a clue,” Dr. Phil says. “A lot of humor has a sharp edge to it. If it’s always somebody else bleeding, it may be that you’re hurting other people’s feelings.”
Find a Better Way to Be Assertive than Bullying
Dr. Phil says there’s a difference between being assertive and being aggressive. Assertive people stand up for their rights, while aggressive people often step on the rights of others.
“If you’ve got somebody being rude to you. You’ve got to really make a decision to just not react,” Dr. Phil says. “You don’t have to be confrontive, but you do need to stand up for yourself.”
Confront the person one on one, Dr. Phil suggests. If the offender is someone you know, make eye contact and call this person by his or her name. If you’re dealing with someone who chronically interrupts you, disengage from the conversation.
Practice Having Empathy, Warmth and Genuineness
“I always treat everybody I can with dignity and respect. I might tell them the truth they don’t want to hear, but I’m not going to treat them in a way that’s not with dignity and respect, because I just feel like we’re all in this together, this human experience call
I See Rude People
by Amy Alkon
Available in bookstores everywhere on November 27!