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          Sibling Rivalry Quiz

          August 25, 2008

          Did you have a close relationship with your sibling at one time, and have you drifted apart over the years? Has your once close relationship with a sibling become no relationship at all? Is a childhood rivalry coming between you and your brother or sister? To find out if your contentious relationship with your sibling is negatively affecting other areas of your life, take the quiz below created by Dr. Frank Lawlis, psychologist and chairman of the Dr. Phil Advisory Board.

          Answer each of these questions based on your immediate attitude and feeling. Use the following letters to indicate the corresponding reaction:

          (I) Intense feelings ” enough to interfere with your goals in life

          (S) Significant emotions ” enough to upset you at times but not enough to interfere with your life

          (A) Aware of feelings, but not upset by them

          (N) No emotions, whether you are aware of them or not

          1. Which of you has been the smartest? ________________
          How does being compared to your sibling in this area make you feel?
          (I) Intense (S) Significant (A) Aware (N) No emotions ______

          2. Which of you has made better grades? ________________
          How does being compared to your sibling in this area make you feel?
          (I) Intense (S) Significant (A) Aware (N) No emotions __________

          3. Which of you has been the better athlete? ________________
          How does being compared to your sibling in this area make you feel?
          (I) Intense (S) Significant (A) Aware (N) No emotions _________

          4. Which of you has been more popular? ________________
          How does being compared to your sibling in this area make you feel?

          (I) Intense (S) Significant (A) Aware (N) No emotions _______

          5. Which of you has been more charming? ________________
          How does being compared to your sibling in this area make you feel?
          (I) Intense (S) Significant (A) Aware (N) No emotions ___________

          6. Which of you has been better looking? ________________
          How does being compared to your sibling in this area make you feel?

          Intense (S) Significant (A) Aware (N) No emotions _________

          7. Which of you has received the most honors? ________________
          How does being compared to your sibling in this area make you feel?

          (I) Intense (S) Significant (A) Aware (N) No emotions ____________

          8. Which of you has been the luckiest? ________________
          How does being compared to your sibling in this area make you feel?

          (I) Intense (S) Significant (A) Aware (N) No emotions _____

          9. Which of you has been the most successful? ________________
          How does being compared to your sibling in this area make you feel?

          (I) Intense (S) Significant (A) Aware (N) No emotions

          10. Which of you has had the best of everything? ______________
          How does being compared to your sibling in this area make you feel?
          Intense (S) Significant (A) Aware (N) No emotions _____________

          11. Which of you has been Father’s favorite? ________________
          How does being compared to your sibling in this area make you feel?
          (I) Intense (S) Significant (A) Aware (N) No emotions __________

          12. Which of you has been Mother’s favorite? ________________
          How does being compared to your sibling in this area make you feel?

          (I) Intense (S) Significant (A) Aware (N) No emotions

          13. Which of you has been liked the most by your family? _____________
          How does being compared to your sibling in this area make you feel?
          (I) Intense (S) Significant (A) Aware (N) No emotions ___________

          14. Which of you has received the most praise? ______________
          How does being compared to your sibling in this area make you feel?
          (I) Intense (S) Significant (A) Aware (N) No emotions ____________

          15. Which of you has received the most things? ______________
          How does being compared to your sibling in this area make you feel?
          (I) Intense (S) Significant (A) Aware (N) No emotions ____________

          Scoring: For each Intense response (I) give a score of 3. For each Significant (S) response, give a score of 2, and for each Aware (A) response, give a score of 1. Add all 15 items for a total score from 0 to 45, and compare your score to the range interpretations below.

          Sum: ________

          34 – 45: Your sibling rivalry is very intense and is probably causing
          some issues interfering with your long-term happiness.

          24 – 33: Your sibling rivalry is strong and may be causing stress in your relationships in general or your job satisfaction.

          11 – 23: Your sibling rivalry is apparent, although unlikely to be a major influence on your life in general. Your rivalry has the potential to become significant related to specific events.

          0 – 10: Your sibling rivalry probably does not interfere significantly in your life.

          For more advice on getting over your sibling rivalry, click here.

           

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