Amy and Melanie grew up in a household watching their parents fight all the time.



Fifteen years later, they say they still feel the effects. They explain to Dr. Phil some of the traits they see in themselves that they believe stem from living in a war zone.

• being clingy
  
• insecurity
  
• low self-esteem
  
• a lack of belonging, feeling lost
  
• guilt and shame
  
• no impulse control
  
• feelings of helplessness
  
• exhibiting aggressive behavior themselves
  
• yelling at their own kids
  
• feeling fearful, unsure of the future
  
• embarrassed to bring friends over

 

Dr. Phil adds: When there are vague and ambiguous things in a child life, they tend to fill it in to their detriment. "Somehow, this must be my fault," they tell themselves. Kids also think that it's their job to fix things. Imagine how terrible it is for them to hold themselves responsible for something over which they have absolutely no control.