Today's revealing fashions have many mothers and daughters arguing over what is appropriate vs. what is "cool." If you fear that your child might be sending the wrong message with her sexy clothing or makeup, Dr. Phil has advice.
Make sure you aren't just dealing with a semantics problem and find out what your child really wants to achieve with her clothing. When your child says that she wants to look sexy, could she really mean that she wants to fit in with her friends or emulate one of her idols? Could she just be pushing your buttons?
When you know what your child really wants, you need to express to her what you are really concerned about. If you're worried about your child attracting the kind of sexual attention that she is not prepared to handle, explain that.
Negotiate clothing choices in a way that allows each of you to get what you really want. Your child can feel fashionable and wear the latest styles without sending the inappropriate sexual signals that you are concerned about.
Stop blurring the boundaries of who is the parent and who is the child. You cannot make your goal to be your child's friend. Part of being a parent is laying down the law and telling your child things she doesn't want to hear.
Do not give in to your child if she gets upset. If she gets upset, she is just going to have to get over it. If she doesn't listen, raise the price of poker. Your child has to know that every time she doesn't listen, the negative consequences will be higher. Maybe last time she was only grounded for one week — now she's grounded for two, etc.
