Topic : What it is like living day to day with chronic pain:

Created on : Thursday, October 20, 2005, 07:22:22 am
Author : katlover

My therapist advised me to keep a diary to help me to recover from major depressive disorder associated with chronic pain, several injuries from an accident I was involved in almost six years ago, the resulting traumas to my body, learning to accept who I am right now and carry on with my life they way it is rather than the way it was.


I believe that in sharing our stories with each other it can help others and in that way we can help ourselves. No man or woman is an island completely alone and separate.


I have had chronic pain for almost six years now. Constant burning pain in and around the left knee, some burning pain in the right knee both resulting from permanent nerve damage, muscle pain from myofacial pain syndrome, arthritus pain in every joint, back & hip pain from damaged discs in my lower back and the very real physical pain from major depressive disorder.

 

This picture is what my back looked like the day after I had the trial surgery for a spinal cord stimulator implant done on 7/12/04. It was successful and the real implant surgery was done on 8/4/04. I use a remote device to turn it on when the pain in my left knee drives me crazy. And it also blocks some ot the back pain from the discs and some of the pain in my hips. The leads were placed at T-10. Unfortunately, this surgery has caused some urinary incontinence. Jerry Lewis also had this sugery last year and he is doing very well. I hope he doesn't pee his pants though!


It has been a nightmare and a learning experience all at the same time. I feel like these years were stolen from my life some of the time. The rest of the time I am pushing myself to feel better and LIVE my life. I have been successful at this most of the time. But I tell ya there are days............................


 


Nancy

 


 


 


 

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November 1, 2005, 4:05 am

And My Good Fortune Continues:

As indicated by all the things I was able to do and didn't crumple or flare as a result. For example: 

 

I was able to mount and dismount a horse on a carousel without help. It wasn't easy but I did it. 

 

Went to a Star Gazing Party in the cold and was standing up for a long time on wet cold grass and I was "okay". We got home at 4am. 

 

I was very physically active without it killing me either. 

 

I am not exactly sure what has been the trigger for the recent episode of feeling really good again. Perhaps it is a combination of all the efforts from the diet changes to the new exercising; I don't know. I don't care. I only care it happened last Thursday and continues into today Tuesday morning. 

 

I have lost seven pounds in 2 and 1/2 weeks. I feel really good in comparrison to just early last week. I have not cried once in a week. I have not been home much in the last few days. I managed to keep up with my chores too. 

 

Yesterday, I had my yearly mammo. Always in October in memory of my mother who died of breast cancer at the age of 55 on October 10, 1985. 20 years ago! I showed the tech the lumps in my armpit and she got as much of this tissue as possible under that plastic torture device.  

 

These lumps have been checked out by two doctors and they both agree they are trigger points and not lymph nodes. There are four under the right arm, very tender, swollen and the pain even extends to the right breast and the nipple is very sensitive to touch. This is a symptom of myofacial pain syndrome. 

 

I made a decision not to travel to this year's family reunion. And this year for the first time it did not end in a fight about it with the rest of the family. I guess they really understand I am too sick to drive/ride 10hours deal with a drinking fest. I hope they get their act together and agree it should be a no alcohol event since they seem to have no control of the amount of liquor they drink or the behavior that results from a drunken state in a dysfunctional alcoholic family reunion. Maybe? 

 

Deb and I had a wonderful weekend together. Oh BTW the preliminary reports for her colonoscopy and my mammo are good. More later. I just took the pain pills and I am rather stiff and feel uncomfortable sitting here at the pc. 


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