I've read a lot about your situation. I think your husband is a lot like many older men, they get used to the way things have been for many years and have accepted that's the way it will be until they die. Then there smart and intelligent wife starts to evolve, us women are very good at changing and making things new. The men get scared and think what is she doing? Is she going through some mid life change or something? NO! We are smarter now and have come to the realization that we can and no how to control our destiny. We want to have and deserve a relationship that allows us to feel cherished and loved. We have come to the point that we must do something to get back what we know we should have in a relationship. But the hard question is how do we do this when we have led our spouse into thinking this treatment is OK. We must do it slowly! We want it fast and we don't feel we should have to beg or even plead to have some intimacy. The truth is it happened over time and it will take time to change it. When you tried to push it on him he became mad and resentful and every time you even blinked (he herd she's trying to change me.) Instead of what you wanted him to feel is that I love you and I want to be close to you or even better I want to rock your world. HAHA. So I guessed your later entries are correct in that he still doesn't get it. This is how my mom was able to get back that intimate relationship that she missed so much. She never brought sex up again because the world was negative to her husband and so was anything that was even remotely close to it in his mind. Trust that it wasn't easy. I do have to mention that she did this because she truly believed that he still loved her. I don't recommend this to the wife that has a husband that has never gave a ------ one way or the other. With those guys this won't work. She's been with her husband through a hard 12 years. So she knows what he is passionate about. This is where she started. She also talked to his friends and whoever she needed to find out what is new in his life, since she had been gone from that area for so long. As soon as she started talking about the fight on UFC or the Fish that had been caught the day before at the Inlet. She had more attention then a teacher with a box of candy. She could have easily made her way with him, but chose to think of it like when they first met, let him wait cause we need to build something that we lost (our interest in each other).
We started dating but the difference was, she was making it seem like it was all about him doing the things that interest him and not sex. What ever his interest were she did them, she bought them, and she lived them. By the time several weeks went by of them going fishing and watching the fights, etc....He was better than when they had first met, way better. Men can be very selfish and if you love them you will feed that. You will do what it takes to get what you want . Many women would say you shouldn't have to do all that, but marriage is about compromise and if I can get my husband to be more interested in me by doing what he likes then I think it's smart. He can't keep his hands off my mom. She got back his devotion! I hope this helps you.
