Messages By: ramair

You say you've had a discussion with your husband, some issues are getting resolved and things are looking up. Was one of these issues his putting his friend ahead of you? Yes, a friendship of 20 years is a strong bond. But, marriage involves a far stronger bond between husband and wife. They put each other first. A marraige of even one day trumps a 20-year-friendship. Yes, a wife needs time with her friends. And, a husband needs time with his friends. But, not every time the two of you are going on a trip. Your husband is afraid of hurting this guy's feeling by wanting time alone with you? Obviously your husband's feelings don't matter much to him. You say he's backed out of social activities with your husband. Doesn't sound like much of a friend to me.

You've got every right to be upset with your husband for putting his "friend" of 20 years  before you. The wedding vows say "forsaking all others..." While this doesn't preclude friends other than one's spouse, they should take second place. How good a "friend" is this guy, really? Didn't you say he's backed out of social engagements with your huisband. If he has, his feeling shouldn't be worth spit, especially compared to yours. It sounds like this guy is socially insensitive and thinks only about himself. My husband has a few "friends" like this. He tries to keep out travel plans to himslf. So, they won't invite themselves along. He feels too sorry for them to tell them "no." So, he tells them nothing.
If I were you, I'd tell your husband that you're tired of his "friend" always tagging along. And, refuse to go anywhere with him unless his "friend" isn't going, too.

Still, you might want to warn him about these stupid gals.