Dec.4/03
I decided today to go to Herbal Magic to investigate their weight loss program. Having done, weight watchers, the Zone, a body type and other diets before, and working out until I was a Biafrian in the 80's, decided what I needed in a program was: 1. constant support and encouragement, 2. a food program I could stick to with real food, 3. start excerising again, but at a moderate rate due to failed attempts to return to my normal after a back injury. I noticed their program offered 6 day support, teaching on portion control and preparing for holiday meals and outings. I agreed to join. Cost would have been normally out of my range however with the partial insurance settlement expected to go towards exercise and weight control, I felt the investment justified. Individual counselling, daily, discussion of problems like cravings, time of day problems has helped in just 3 days. Due to conflicts with some of my medical prescriptions, they were able to modify my program to work with my meds.
I just felt I couldn't stand this anymore. I was very use to being not only in shape but phenomial shape, working out in a grunt gym 4-5 days a week.
I tried last winter to get back to my old routine however inflamed injuries too much. So I have come to accept that may not ever happen again. So my plan is the college down the street has an indoor track and have walking memberships in the winter, where you walk laps, at your own pace at your own distance. I'm planning on at first 3 days a week and work up from there. Hopefully by summer I will have lost enough to feel comfortable to walk in the neighbourhood, like most of my neighbours do. I feel too embarassed now and with winter here, ice on the sidewalks too big a risk of falling. I haven't announced to the world, "I'm on a diet" just trying to keep it quiet. My best friend stopped by last night with a pizza and garlic bread, but already had chicken breasts on and a salad made. So I ate the good food and passed on the junk. So today at weight in I was rewarded with having lost 3 1/2 lbs. Now I'm not in fantasy land. I know with the increase in water intake and increase BM's it's mostly that but did give me an emotional boost that I can do it.
I started at 230 1/2 lbs. When we sat down to set a goal, the counsellor suggested for frame and build, to try to get to 144 lbs. I know for me that is too low and unrealistic. I have reached that before but extreme dieting and exercise, but looked anorexic and ended up internally sick. Previously to my injury I was between 165 to 175, depending on muscle mass I was building. This is where I feel comfortable and looks good. It looks smaller than it is on me. It's size 14 to 16, which I am fine at, and still have the clothes in storage. So I feel this 56lb. loss is reasonable and attainable. And should be maintanable when I get back there. I know the inactivity of the last 2 years is one of the major issues, so if I can at least walk on a steady basis. It should slowly come off. I've also found having to write down everything I put in my body has made me more conscience of what I have been doing, by not paying attention. My sister called today from Winnipeg and I told her I had joined and was so excited and happy for me she wanted to pay for the gym/walking membership. I thanked her but said no, the insurance is covering it. However if in future if she wants so help buy the vitamins and supplements that's fine. she acctually said she was proud of me, rarely said. I know now she will be a big support. That's what I need now is supportive non-sabotaging people. That's why there are certain people I won't even tell I'm on this program, because I've been there before and know who will try to sabatage.
I'm doing this for me this time. Not to impress anyone, not out of anger, just to do it for my physical health and sense of well being.
God gave me the courage to accept the things I couldn't change, but the knowledge to know the one thing I
can is me.
And so it is
time. |
