Messages By: toristeven

Today I weigh 245 pounds. I have eaten mostly protiens today plus salad, no major carbs at all. I have been eating this way (south beach diet) for 2 weeks, starting my third week and it actually gets easier everyday. I had to grieve at the end of the first week when it hit me that I would never again eat potatoes. Not because some diet told me to but because I know how horrible they are for my body. Then I cried thinking how many times a week I used to eat them and knowing now, how I was setting myself up for failure everytime I ate them. Today was a true triumph as we went out to eat as a family and everyone else had either a baked potato or fries and I didn't even have a TWINGE of desire to taste one! I had my chicken breast and all the fixins-hold the bun-with a side salad and I really enjoyed it! What a treat it is to go out to eat and only WANT what is good for me. It is amazing what a difference there is when you are truly finally ready to lose weight. I heard it for years...you have to be ready...but I never could fully grasp it until I became ready myself. Now I say...goodbye potatoes...and good riddance!

As I have been watching Dr. Phil, I have started becoming more self aware and have finally let it sink in that I am worth every effort it takes to lose the weight and let go of the emotional baggage tied to it. Something has really changed in my internal dialogue that I can distinctly define as positive and inspirational. The love that I should have felt for myself all along is replacing all of the untrue self-defeating lies I told myself creating this bigger and bigger hole that I tried to fill with food. It is amazing when the lightbulb goes on and you suddenly turn a corner feeling that you are not sure what took you so long. It is amazing to me though because I have no more or less support now than I ever did, but I no longer look for a scapegoat to blame my failures on, its all on me now. I have gone public with my goals and my weight and you better believe I am sharing my truimphs too. Emotionally I am stronger than ever and I am finding it easy to resist all the bad foods I once craved so badly. I am on my third week of my new diet and I weigh 245, a 15 pound loss since I started. I am feeling great, sleeping better, and my internal dialogue is a positive affirmation of the worthy person I REALLY am!