September is normally a month of reflection for me but with katrina, it's even more a time of introspection.
Sept. 01 - my baby's birthday and this year, he turned 13 and suddenly, I'm seeing him begin to take those first steps toward independence. As much as I'd love to keep him as my baby forever, I can see that it's going to get harder from here on in
Sept. 10 - Even though I've lost both my wonderful parents, this is always going to be their anniversary so I spend time on this day each year thinking about how much they mean to us
Sept. 11 - My birthday 9/11 ... it used to be my favourite day but now, it's a day of rememberance for all of those who were lost in a senseless tragedy.
This year, I thought of asking all of those who give me gifts to donate to a relief fund but I decided to be selfish. I've asked for flowers. Tulips and daffodils, lily of the valley, crocus and hyacinth. I've asked that they be planted in all my window boxes and in the garden and around our trees. This spring, I'd like to look over those plants and feel the love with which they were planted. A gift that will give me pleasure for all the years I live in this house.
Sept. 16 - my mom's birthday and this is always a day of tears because it's the one day I give myself over to missing her
I also have the birthdays of 3 nieces and nephews in September and as special as they all are, one is a day of more joy than any other for me because my amazing and adorable niece is a leukemia survivor who is a vibrant and incredible 14 year old. Every year that passes is a gift beyond all others.
Since this family time is coming, I'm going to set aside my anger, horror, sadness, pain and intense sorrow that's been sitting on my shoulder since hurricane Katrina hit. This past few weeks has been so hard. My eldest son left for college, leaving me feel bereft and then the storm hit and every day the news left me reeling. The worst day was the morning of the 3rd day when I read that Canada was sending our DART team (Canadian Forces Disaster Assistance Response Team) to aid the relief effort. A few hours later, I learned that the team, which had already loaded up the planes and was just waiting for FEMA to give them a deployment point had been told not to come. This team sends primary medical care - has water purifying equipment that would have been a wonderful help to the situation - comes with engineers and communications specialists who would have been able to help stabalize the communication problems which hindered so much of the relief effort and they were left at the Alberta airport for 4 days.
Early on the 4th day, I was watching CNN as they showed a man with a large metal pole try to break into a shop. They pulled the camera back and you could see he was breaking into a Deli. Obviously to get food and water. This same image was shown for days but without the camera pulling back to show the Deli sign and it was used in the context of looting. I was appalled that they would show a man who was so apparently getting food and water as a looter.
A few days ago was when my anger and sorrow reached a peak. Oprah showed the dome in the middle of the day. It was a dark and frightening place. I later learned that National Guard troops were stationed at the doors and were preventing people from leaving even after gangs began to shoot and rape people. The place of rescue had turned into a larger nightmare than the storm and people were held as prisoners. I can't imagine how they'll get over this.
... just writing this makes me sad all over again. My prayers for all of those people are frequent and loud. I'm now trying to concentrate on the goodness of all the people who are stepping forward to help. I'm looking for the good and seeing it all over.
My donations have gone out to Habitat for Humanity and the NAACP.
