Messages By: mommacros

Today I realize that I am very self destructive. I am not happy with myself. I am killing myself by smoking and am 40 pounds overweight. I say to myself that I don't want to do these things anymore...but I keep right on keeping on. Why can I not kick this stupid habit? I had it beat for almost 3 months. A couple of cigarettes and I was right back to wasting my families money to kill myself. I think it has to do with not being happy with myself. I hate the way i look...I am so fat. I am trying to do something about it but it is half hearted. plus doug keeps on bringing home junk. I have willpower but I give in when he brings it home. I think he likes me fat. I am just going tohave to learn to not eat the junk when it is in my house. I need to work on loving myself in spite of my faults. Maybe that way I will want to better my life.