Messages By: labelfree

I never realized back in 1999 that my body couldn't "absorb" proper vitamins and how messed up it could make my system. 

I thought poof have the operation and all my weight would just disappear.

Having such a MAJOR OPERATION is (ONLY A TOOL!)

IT DOES HAVE ITS DRAW BACKS. 

IF YOU DO NOT FOLLOW A VERY STRICT DIET  you can and will gain weight.  In the summer I would eat ice cream and my favorite chocolate I gained 40 Forty pounds! YIKES!!!!  Back to the old scale and back to the Eating properly again!  However when I made this choice to have this operation initially I looked at my parents...

This was a major decision. 

I looked at myself,  looked at my parents who between the both of them took at least 20 pills for heart,  high blood pressure, diabetes etc,  and I said in 20 years I DON'T want that to be me!

So actually impulsively booked the surgery!

Now monthly I have to have B12 shots.  Daily I have to take PRE NATAL vitamins.  Weekly I must take Vitamin D 50000IUCapules because I am NOT absorbing Vit D.  IRON 3 x a day too!

Still am not on track physically.

I am making my MIND BODY SPIRIT connection.....andI have decided NOT to avoid me anymore.

ChipCoffee@aol.com

Good  luck sweetie!

xox

S

Dr Phil and his books saved my life for real JUNE 05.  Have you ever read any of them?  Check them out at your nearest library.   It can help you too I just know it!

xox

S 

I am with you...whats with this new beta stuff!  old vs.new..

WOW France that seems like such a dream to me...eating a cheese sufle (sp) near the Effle tower!

xox

S

I need to take Iron 3 x a day

I need to get Rx of vit D filled

I am breast cancer free.

All my test came back clear.

So far so good.  It feels GREAT taking care of myself in reality vs.  living in a fantasy what if world.

I encourage you all to

1.  Get a really good physical

2.  Get a complete blood work up.

3, Be 100 percent honest with a doctor who you are comfortable with and can give a complete FAMILY history to...

.

4.  Realize this is YOUR LIFE and its precious. GUARD yourself. 

Abortion were legal you prob ally wouldn't be reading these words....

I also adored my mother.  She treated me indifferent.  It wasn't until I was 38 years old and had 3 children of my own that I was putting the puzzle of my life together of my "dysfunctional family of origin"

My momma was 3 months pregnant with my oldest brother,  James than each year another child,  a girl,  than another boy....THAN five years past...........ME....

They joked  even said I was the only one planned but when you were born a mistake you know it.  They never came to any play I was in,  Never came to any concert,  or any squad I cheered in....

So instead of trying threw positive recognition I then sought threw negative and that didn't even get them to budge.

Having indifference stifles a child's mind.

It was thru 14 years of deep therapy and understanding I found my own validation and freedom as my OWN WOMAN.

I watch that show too.  Too bad that show wasnt on when I was a kid.

I love Chip Coffee he is a wonderful person.  I have his email if you would like it!

xox

S

I am still CLEAN and serene.  Since my momma was having all those issues I did something really really stupid world.  I neglected myself.

I am talking about avoiding actual medical problems because I was/am scared.  A few days ago I guess you can say I grew up.

My symptoms.  Blurred vision,  Discharge from both nipples, ranging from green,to blood to brown,  to black  and all I could think of was the worst.  A mother and daughter RARE CANCER team.  So I avoided it....That is and was the worst thing I could have done.

ATTENTION MAMMO's don't hurt WORLD.  ULTRA SOUNDS don't hurt.  What hurts is keeping information inside and playing the what if games especially if your not a doctor.

SO I found a new doctor.  A wonderful new Doctor.  Gave him a complete FAMILY history.  He must have ordered 8 vials of blood.  Took cells for infection,  and CANCER.

He ordered a mammo,  and ULTRA SOUND  and a CA 125 Blood test to test for UTERUS CANCER TOO. 

I have no infection.  I have no BREAST CANCER.  From all blood work so far  he found out I AM ANEMIC.

He said next he is going to check for a tumor on my pituitary gland/hypothalamus which is nearly always (begine) sp

But now I am not afraid....I am facing whatever this is and taking care of business.

All scans are great for my momma.  We are kind of back to where we were prior to her operations.  We see each-other when I come to NJ which will not happen again until After 2-12 and if someone lies about me being there before that  THERE WILL BE BIG trouble for that sax of shit liar!

Sorry too complex to get it out here but in short there is a lying slut floozy in NJ who will be found out  and I mean quick!  Than poof my life or that minuscule part of my life is OVER.  Than I will come back and tell you all about it.

You never hear me get like that but its time to take out the low class trash than Ill come back and fill in the blanks...

Oh now back to paradise...Yes being in love,  staying clean one day at a time,  loving my 6 month old puppy who has spots of black on her tongue,  Having a great relationship with my children.

Cant get much better than this but if it does Ill let you know..

Baked chicken cooking in the oven with black eyed peas on the stove.

I may be a damn Yankee but I sure do have a southern soul!

Talk to ya all soon!

xox

S

Finally someone who told MY STORY! :)

Don't buy any label they place on you or internalize them.

You sound like a beautiful spirit full of good ol American spunk!  

What I have learned from mental health resume is a label is a label is a label  its a frickin billing thing....

OH Bipolar your billing number is 907.23

OH you have PT-SD  billing number is blah DE frickin DA...

I let those labels interfere with my life way too long..

HENCE the FRICKIN Mr Right jack ass was kicked to the curb,  and now I am totally in-love,  living in MIDLAND USA and loving my life without the use of ANY MEDICATIONS.  OH and remarried coming up on a year!

I am not telling you not to take any,  please follow what you and your DR decide.

Growing up in H E DOUBLE hockey sticks,  like you and me and we  and putting up with that BS who wouldn't turn to drugs as an escape.

Old coping skills got us through what we needed to get through  releasing ORIGINAL ABUSE from your adult body  and not toking or hitting the bottle or whatever are the first real steps to change my lady!

xox

S