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October 19, 2005, 10:40 am PDT
The Other Woman
Quote From: latingirlI do agree with you, men are always looked at as boys being boys. But it's us women that let them think this way. I WOULD never think of you or someone in your position as a whore or homewrecker, it's the cheater that is the whore and homewrecker! That burden is NOT on you. But like I said. We do make choices and you choice to be with a married man. Yeah I see he lied to you about where his marriage really was. But until you are in this position, you can't speak for his wife or her husband because you only know him as your mistery man but not as the one that came home to his family. I know people stay together for the kids sake, I too am divorced with children and we talked about that as well. But it doesn't work and we all know it. The kids need parents but they don't have to live in the same household to still be a good parent. She may have taken it all for granted but he still was the wrong person in all of this. And the only reason I seem to come down on you is because you sit here and say you have no regrets. But if you knew about all this before, wouldn't you have changed it from the beginning. If he wanted to leave, he would! No doubt. She can't force him to stay. Nobody can force you to do anything....so if he really truly wanted to out of this marriage, he would be. And in regards to your wrong doing. SInce you didn't know about the truth to begin with, I can see how you are not wrong either. BUT you do know and you still sit here and blame her for it all and how she treats him. Well I guess she pushed him away into your arms, but that doesn't mean she deserved to be betrayed and lied to. What type of man are talking about, you are acting like he is worth all of this. I think he was lonely and befriended me. Neither one of us planned on it getting this intimate. We certainly didn't think we'd fall in love. I think he was in some kind of coma or something because he just thought it would all work out. He was not planning on his wife not throwing him out. She seemed like she didn't want him either. I hate the idea that I may have brought them together. Do you know how much that sucks? I love him for many reasons. I don't like that he cheated on her. I do feel bad that HE betrayed her but I still do not believe that I should have thought of her for one second. If he called me today I'd be there for him. I am still in the very hurt stage where he still has power over me. I am hoping that each day I'll get stronger and hold him more accountable for all these. I am angry at her for many reasons, (1) she still wants him. I would never tolerate this level of betrayal and yes, I know, I'll be told that if he does it with me, he'll do it to me but I don't buy into once a cheater, always a cheater. I do think there are always special circumstances where people make bad decisions, (2) Why didn't she acknowledge the fact that for 7 to 8 months he was gone. I mean gone in every sense of the word. He was traveling to see me and when he was home he was speaking to me on the phone or e-mailing me. She never asked once why he was so distant. She just let his paychecks keep rolling in and went shopping. She has a nanny, a housekeeper and doesn't work outside the home. i'm not sure what this woman does that takes so much time away from paying attenion to him.
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