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Replies to 'How Childhood Abuse Still Affects Me'
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July 30, 2005, 4:24 pm PDT
 Quote From: tammyo1973 The saddest thing in the world is when you realize you cannot make your children better. My daughter tried suicide once that I know of. She was a self mutilater. She is still into self harm, but not by cutting. She threw herself down the stairson my home on Jan 3rd of this year because school had gotten so hard for her. She tries to be "normal" and it wears her out mentally. She has attacked me on several occasions. I have had the police to my home dozen times because of her rage and for refusal to go to school. Luckily the sherriffs are great here and usually just calm her down. They have forced me to take her to the ER when she is suicidal. It is very hard to see your child hurting so much. She is 14 years old. She has gone through more than most people twice her age.
She is learning every day how to cope with rejection and abandonment. I hate all people who abuse children, I am sure you can understand why.
As for me I lost my parents due to all of this. They for some reason are in denial over the whole thing. THey do not believe she is sick. They think I am awful for putting her in a psych hospital. They did not even want me to report the abuse. THey went as far as to ask me to have the police not arrest my X at work so he wouldn't be embarrassed. I didn't talk to my mom or dad for over a year. Our relationship has always been strained.
He is a major control freak and cannto stand my wonderful husband because my hubby taught me how to stand up for myself and not be controlled or not be played with mind games. My hubby is the best he works his butt off so I do not have to. he provides me with all my needs as well as my wants. He is supportive of my daughter and our daughter who is 3yr.
I could go on but I don't want to bore you with my life history. I just felt like sharing a little about myself.
Godspeed... Tammy HI TAM ,I AM IN TEARS NOW.I KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO HAVE TO WATCH YOUR CHILD GO THROUGH SOME OF WHAT YOUR POOR SWEET GIRL DOES.I TO TOOK MINE TO THE ER.FOR AN EVALUATION TOO BECAUSE OF THE SUICIDE RISK .I DON'T KNOW TAMMY IF YOU FOUND MY POSTS OVER ON THE DEPRESSION BOARDS OR EVEN ON THE OLD ARCHIVE BULLY BOARDS ALSO BUT I CAN RELATE WITH NOT GOING TO SCHOOL .MY DAUGHTER WOULD GET SO PHYSICALLY SICK THAT SHE JUST COULD NOT FUNCTION .TO SEE HER GO THROUGH WHAT SHE HAS THESE LAST FEW MONTHS IS UNREAL ,AND LIKE YOU SAY THEY GO THROUGH SO MUCH MORE THAN AN ADULT DOES.I TELL MY DAUGHTERS STORY EVEN TO FAMILY AND THEY CAN'T UNDERSTAND HOW SHE GOES THROUGH IT.SHE GOES THROUGH IT BECAUSE OF THE WAY SHE FEELS THATS HOW.MY FAMILY IS SUPPORTIVE THOUGH.MY DAUGHTER HAS BEEN EVEN SEEING IMAGES OF HER GRANDMOTHER DYING AND SHE GOES RIGHT OUT OF HER MIND WHEN SHE DOES.ITS LIKE A SOLDIER THATS AT WAR AND ALL THEY SEE IS FLASHBACKS .WELL SHE DOESN'T SEE JUST FLASHBACKES SHE GOES RIGHT BACK TO THE DAY HER GRANDMOTHER DIED AND SHE IS IN THE HOSPITAL AND SEES HER GRANDMOTHER BLEED TO DEATH AND SHE IS TRYING TO COME OUT OF THE IMAGE BUT CAN'T SO SHE TURNS HER HEAD AWAY FROM WHAT SHE SEES AND WHEN SHE LOOKS BACK ITS STILL THERE.IT TRAUMATIZED HER SO MUCH AND NOW SHE HAS A HIGH ANXIETY ATTACKS.THE IMAGES DURING THE DAY AND NIGHTMARES DURING THE NIGHT SO THEN AT THE END OF IT SHE WOULDN'T CLOSE HER EYES.WE FINAALY TURNED A CORNER AND SHE HAS BEEN TO COUNCILING AND NOW A SUPPORT GROUP FOR TEENS WHO SUFFER LOSTS IN THEIR FAMILIES.DO YOU A HAVE A SUPPORT GROUP AROUND THAT YOUR DAUGHTER CAN ATTEND FOR ABUSE?IT WOULD BE GREAT IF SHE DID.WELL TAMMY THATS SOME OF WHAT I DEAL WITH ON A DAILY BASIS .BESIDES TRYING TO KEEP MYSELF SANE TOO .LOL TAKE CARE FOR NOW AND I WILL PRAY FOR YOU AND YOUR DAUGHTER TOO GOD BLESS .CATHY GUESS I'LL CHECK BACK IN AT DEPRESSION BOARDS .LOL LATER CATHY |
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