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Replies to '12/22 Parents Falsely Accused'
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September 18, 2008, 5:19 pm PDT
 Quote From: milimama Who among us has never left our child unattended for 4 minutes? Which child is safer: The sleeping girl belted into her car-seat while her mother walks 30 feet to drop coins in a kettle or the child left watching Dora while mom is around the corner cooking a meal?
At least the child in the car seat is belted in. The kid in the front of the tv can wander around & potentially get into all kinds of trouble.
I think that sometimes it is smarter/safer to keep your child belted in. I saw a moving car crash into a bike stroller just yesterday (Thankfully, all of the children were okay.) But it was a stunning reminder that accidents can happen ANYWHERE. Being with the mother is no guarantee that the child is more safe than in the car seat. And if the mother is attempting to navigate a parking lot during bad weather with 3 other children, belted into the car seat of a non-running vehicle just might have been the safer choice. (As long as the child is within sight, of course.)
Exit question: Which was more traumatizing? Mom leaving the sleeping child in the car that was in plain view or having 4 children watch their mother be hand-cuffed & taken away in a squad car? I feel like this is an issue which is ridiculously overblown in our society. Our society is not more dangerous than when we were kids, just more aware of isolated situations. The mother who leaves her child for truly two to four minutes should not be compared with a mother who leaves her child in the car for nine hours.
I am a single mom who is physically unable to carry my toddler. My own mother has died and I don't have anyone to watch my children unless I pay for it. So under the rules of many in our society, I am not able to retrieve my mail from my post office box, go inside to use the bathroom anywhere unless I bring all three of my children with me, or able to take a shower unless I have all three in the bathroom with me. And once I had a man I was dating go beserk because I breastfed my then baby in front of his siblings thinking it was indecent exposure..
The people who make the strong judgements against mothers (notice it never seems to be fathers who are accused) need to get a real life. Instead of judging the mother who is struggling to do it all, try offering a helping hand. Before I had children, I tried to do this by offering to weed the neighbor's garden, being available to babysit, or watching the children during Sunday church services. One church I belonged to for a few months actually published a newsletter criticizing parents for bringing their children to church. The church then lost all families of young children.
I have also worked in children's hospitals as a physician, so I have a good idea of what brings kids to seek specialized medical attention. It is true that physically harming a child or neglecting the child can have disastrous consequences, but I've never seen it from leaving a child unattended for less than 5 minujtes. Some things help drastically such as using helmets, seatbelts, and car seats. And I can't understand why any parent would ever have a gun in their home or car. Also exposure to car exhaust, cigarette smoke, and air pollution can cause a child to suffer from asthma which can kill. But a more pervasive source of neglect we don't address is childhood obesity which will eventually kill a child, even if it is decades later. And it certainly shatters self-esteem.
Maybe we should get more upset about school parites where children are offered numerous desserts such as cake, cookies, and candy all at one sitting. |
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