Message Boards
Replies to '12/25 The Locator: Reunion Aftermath'
|
September 24, 2008, 2:59 pm PDT
 Quote From: kvmogal I got pregnant by date rape at the age of 15. Twenty-three years later the child from that tragedy found me.
She was given confidential State information illegally by a "birth angel," information that was not available to me through legal routes.
She emailed me, and I responded. I shared stories, medical information and family history. I told her of the pain involved in the pregnancy, as well as the birth and adoption process. I also told her that I was NOT able to be her mother, that I had given birth to her, but that was where my involvement ended. I was a mother to two children now, just as she was a daughter to her parents. Our lives, though connected at a moment in time, had been separated and gone separate ways. This, unfortunately, was not what she had dreamed of.
She threatens to contact family members, to appear in my hometown and make inquiries. She states she has a right to know the people involved in my life. I've had to retain an attorney to pursue legal avenues should she persist in her threats.
I'm sorry she did not have the relationship she felt she deserved from her mother. I'm sorry her life is so miserable that she feels the need to enter mine. The day I gave her up for adoption, I only wished her good things and that wish continues today.
Reunions are NOT always peaches and cream. Please.....think the decision regarding opening the doors of reunion through very, very carefully. To the lady who had a child at the age of 15 as a result of date rape.
I think I can understand your reasons for not wanting a reunion. But my understanding comes from a different direction.
Several years ago, my mother told me I had a brother as the result of an affair my father had with a married woman before he met my mother.
I was able to very easily locate my brother and we talked on the phone a few times. He did not know anything about any of this. We decided to be sure to have a DNA test done. The day before this was scheduled, he called me and said he had changed his mind. He felt if this turned out to be true, it would be too painful for everybody in his family. He said his mother was a wonderful woman and an upstanding woman in their very small community.
He asked me to please not pursue it anymore. That was the last time I ever tried to contact him. I am in my 60's now and he is almost 70. All of my siblings have died, as well as my parents. I don't even know if he is still alive.
I guess I will go to my grave not knowing and wondering what my brother was like. He told me he is a retired minister, so I know he has to be a very good person But I know I love him eough to not hurt him or his family in any way. |
|
Return to the Message Board
