Replies to '11/27 Extreme Moms'

Although I agree there is a happy medium I do believe it is abuse to leave a 9 year old unattended in any city, town or neighborhood without supervision. It is called child neglect, there are laws against this form of abuse in this country, and I truly hope someone from child protective services in this woman's local area sees the show and intervenes.

It worries me to read these posts and see that so many find what this woman did okay.

I live in a neighborhood where I frequently see children left unattended outside. I have responded to several "emergencies" since I moved into the neighborhood.  Just this past Saturday there was an eight year old girl outside alone riding her bike who somehow got her shoe lace entangled in the peddle of her bike. Somehow in her attempt to free her shoe she fell off of the bike hitting her head and received a concussion. I was the only adult around and therefor had to respond.

A month or so ago a young girl, maybe 5 years old, from the neighborhood was lost. I frequently see her outside alone and many of the neighbors have complained to her parents about her entering their apartments when they leave the doors open.  I never called DCF because I was trying to mind my own business. The day she went missing and I heard her parents frantic cries running around the neighborhood I truly thought I was going to have a heart attack. All I could think is Oh my god something has finally happened to this poor little angel and I will have to live with the guilt of not having done anything to intervene when I saw her being neglected on a daily basis. Luckily she was found by another man in the neighborhood about two blocks away.

I believe Dr. Phil should have another debate on this issue. However this time I would like to see on stage the parents of the estimated 1 million children (estimated by The National Center for Missing and Exploited Children) who go missing each year in the United States. I would like Dr. Phil to ask them "If you could have your child back in your arms today what would be the likely hood of you allowing them to run around the town you live in unsupervised again?" I can guess the answer.

I understand that children go missing from their own beds as well. However I do not believe that is an excuse to put your child in harms way. There are many ways to teach your child responsibility other than sending them out with a subway card and 20 bucks and hoping against hope that they make it home safely.

This is my goal as well. I grew up in a foster home with my sister, and our foster parents never let us do anything, disapproved of all of our friends (for no reason), read our diaries, basically too involved with our lives. Of course along with all this overprotectiveness, they also mentally abused us, telling us we are ugly, our parents never loved us, they would mimic us, sit and stare at us while we were grounded and make faces at us. We were never allowed up to our rooms unless it was bedtime, because they couldnt keep an eye on us. Well when I was 15, Child protective services came and took me out of the home and into a new foster home. This foster home, I had parents who let me have freedom, at first I had no idea what to do with it!!! But having lived there taught me independent skills, and I would be so lost if I had not lived with them.

 

Now, I am a mother of a six month old, and I do admit I am scared of her becoming a teenager one day, and scared of letting her go eventually, BUT I know that it is something I will have to do, because it is my job to teach her independence. My husband and I are going to put her in a tai kwan doe class when she is old enough, because we believe that it will teach her not only self-protection, but also good self image, respect for herself, and self discipline.

 

As for the nine year old going out on his own, well I believe that he was likely ready if his mother was allowing him to go out... It is not always about age, but readiness and maturity, and she obviously felt he was ready. Would I let my dd out in the city alone at 9? Not likely, BUT thats the difference between myself and another parent. I am not going to jdge her on her parenting skills, the boy seemed mature enough.

 

The mother who called her daughter all the time, stalked her and wanted her bf to pee in a cup for urine analysis, etc etc, well yes pretty extreme, but she knew she had to change, she knew it was wrong. She seemed nice enough. My foster parents thought they were doing right, would even argue with our family therapist about it, so I think it is a positive thing that she knows she shouldn't be acting that way.