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Replies to '10/02 Stressed Out to the Max'
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October 2, 2008, 7:14 am PDT
 Quote From: kbirdy As I am reading through all of the posts I feel so bad, I feel like I am so stressed however my situation doesn't even compare to any others. Maybe I just have a lower threshold than others, because I couldn't handle going thru anything more at the moment. I have recently broken up with my controlling boyfriend. It has been 18 months of pure hell. I met him at a point where I was so weak I was willing to put up with everything from him lying about his age, to an affair, even to the point where he would not even let me go out and see my friends. I feel like I lost everyone I ever cared about because I just attended to him. He made me quit my job because he thought I was seeing someone else. I spent a few months unemployed and he was never there to help me out. I blame myself so much for letting that happen. I decided to break up with him and ever since I did things have gotten really nasty. He has spread rumours about me on facebook and told all my family these horrible things about me, which are not true. I have recieved emails and text messages from people I don't even know abusing me. I don't understand why people can be so cruel, I didn't do anything wrong I just left a bad situation. He is constantly texting me and I have told him not to. He continues to contact my mum, which is making it hard for her. I don't understand it. I feel really over whelmed by it all, and not only that I have a very stressful job that I can't deal with at the moment, I feel like I am sinking, I haven't been to work in the past 2 days because my neck is spasiming from all the stress. I don't know who to talk to because I have lost so many people. I really wanted to just let it out. I know it probably seems petty to some to be so stressed about it but I finally was proactive and left a horrid situation and was really proud of myself and now this horrible situation won't leave me. I guess stress consumes everyone differently and at different levels. I understand some of your pain, and how it feels like the world is crushing down on your chest and you can't breath, I guess everything will work out.... You need to first change your phone number, email addressd and do not give this guy ANY attention you need to ignore him completely . I had someone in my life like this and you will get through this but if in any way you dont feel safe you need to call the police. DONT take this behavior lightly. ADVICE... DONT LET ANYONE TAKE YOU FROM WHO YOU ARE. If a man loves you they dont put stress and drama on you. You need to value yourself and know the signs of abuse before you take on another relationship. A guy like this will charm you at first and you think your in love then he will manipulate you and all the time your so confused that you start losing yourself worth. Take your time in a relationhip make them come to you see the effort they put into you. If someone shows signs of rushing things RUN!!!! Time will heel but more important learn by this.
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October 2, 2008, 8:43 am PDT
Quote From: kbirdy As I am reading through all of the posts I feel so bad, I feel like I am so stressed however my situation doesn't even compare to any others. Maybe I just have a lower threshold than others, because I couldn't handle going thru anything more at the moment. I have recently broken up with my controlling boyfriend. It has been 18 months of pure hell. I met him at a point where I was so weak I was willing to put up with everything from him lying about his age, to an affair, even to the point where he would not even let me go out and see my friends. I feel like I lost everyone I ever cared about because I just attended to him. He made me quit my job because he thought I was seeing someone else. I spent a few months unemployed and he was never there to help me out. I blame myself so much for letting that happen. I decided to break up with him and ever since I did things have gotten really nasty. He has spread rumours about me on facebook and told all my family these horrible things about me, which are not true. I have recieved emails and text messages from people I don't even know abusing me. I don't understand why people can be so cruel, I didn't do anything wrong I just left a bad situation. He is constantly texting me and I have told him not to. He continues to contact my mum, which is making it hard for her. I don't understand it. I feel really over whelmed by it all, and not only that I have a very stressful job that I can't deal with at the moment, I feel like I am sinking, I haven't been to work in the past 2 days because my neck is spasiming from all the stress. I don't know who to talk to because I have lost so many people. I really wanted to just let it out. I know it probably seems petty to some to be so stressed about it but I finally was proactive and left a horrid situation and was really proud of myself and now this horrible situation won't leave me. I guess stress consumes everyone differently and at different levels. I understand some of your pain, and how it feels like the world is crushing down on your chest and you can't breath, I guess everything will work out.... One thing I have learned throughout all of my issues with people, within myself, and with all I have gone through and seen, that every single thing happens for a reason and you just have to have faith that you will get through it. God never throws anything at us that we cant handle. He knows our strengths, weaknesses, and how far it is to our breaking points. You probably read my story and 2 years ago, there is NO WAY I could have handled all of this. I would have probably done some irrational, stupid stuff to ruin my life. But God gradually put me through things that would make me stronger over time. He was preparing me for this summer specifically. I have gone through what you were just saying. Not to that extent with a boyfriend but I did have a very controlling one for 2 1/2 years. Most of my high school life. One thing you must remember is IT IS NOT YOUR FAULT. I have been conditioned by nearly everyone in my life to think its my fault for everything that happens. My mom and dad got divorced and could never agree on anything because of me... so I thought that was my fault. My mom couldnt afford a lot being a single parent so I thought that was my fault. My boyfriend made me feel like everything was my fault. My mom always blames me for everything. And now I have an AMAZING boyfriend and my conditioned behavior is carrying over into our relationship and I am having to get used to being treated right. I have been conditioned for so long to think that being treated wrong by everyone is how it is supposed to be that I have to get used to the good stuff. How crazy is that?!
Girl you will be fine. Have faith and pray it up!!! Once you give ALL of your problems to God, it is such a relief. We arent capable of handling all of life's curveballs, it is impossible! You are gonna be fine though. I have faith in you ;) |
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