Replies to 'Ready for Marriage?'

When I read your story it made me think of the horror stories my mother had told me. I am only 24 but come from a very colourful history. My mum being the oldest of 9 kids grew up with a very abusive father, not only did he abuse my nan but also my mum and her siblings, emotionally, physically and sexually. Did they all end up the abuser? No, not all, but one of my uncles learning from him did sexually molest me when I was about 9. My mum on the other hand was the absolute opposite of what she grew up with. Never did she lay a hand on me or was abusive to me at all, some of my other uncles have never abused their kids or wives. It's not as cut and dry as saying yes or no, really the decision to be an abuser is the persons. As for whether or not you should trust your boyfriend, well only you can decide on that one. You have this information, use it to keep an eye out for any signs but don't be paranoid with it. It's not easy opening up and talking about any type of abuse, witnessing or otherwise. He knows your concerns and hopefully in time he will open up about it understanding that it is important to him moving on and also important to your relationship going forward. I do believe that he is probably just trying to bury what he remembers, I can guarantee you that those memories are something that probably haunt him and are hard for him to deal with. Be patient, if you love him which I believe you do, then just be patient but don't forget yourself in this either and what's important to you to know and be sure of. Remember this is something that will be a part of him and who he is forever. 

And as for telling him what his mother told you, I would say best not to do that. From my own personal experience I know that if you aren't ready to talk about it, you aren't ready to talk about it, no matter how hard someone pushes the issue. I didn't remember my abuse until I was about 15, it took me until I was 19 to finally deal with it and tell my family and friends about it so I could deal with it. I had to be ready to do that, just as he will have to be. Again, patience is important. Good Luck and I hope you guys go forward and have a great and wonderful loving life together!