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Replies to 'Overcoming Grief'
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October 20, 2005, 1:10 am PDT
 Quote From: mommyjen I am a hurricane Katrina survivor. I had a home in Pass Christian Mississippi, a small town that has not been much in the news. I returned from evacuating the day after the storm to find that my home had been under 30 feet of water, actually over the roof. That day, I found my neighbor, who had returned from working in a nursing home. She had discovered her husband and three-year old child dead in the house. The next day, my husband and I were trying to salvage some things from my home when the coroner came to pick them up. I asked them to check on my other neighbors, and they were found drowned in their homes too. I lost a total of 5 people I socialized with, people I was close to. Today, I found out that a total of 11 people in my neighborhood died in the storm. My grief has been close to crippling. I'm not only grieving for my home and the way we lived, but my home town has been obliterated. It's like it was never there.
I'm having a very difficult time with the way my neighbors died. I have nightmares about the way they must have struggled, especially the baby and his father. I have a three-year-old myself. I know that I would have done whatever I could to protect her. I know that Sam must have struggled to protect Mathew.
How do people go on after something like this? I just want to get through the day and be a good wife and mommy to my two girls? I live in north central Alabama & have heard/seen many news reports from your town. Not, of course, like the larger towns like New Orleans, but enough to see the total devastation of the area. I hope if you have not already, you will seek counseling soon. I know your main priority right now is getting the physical part of your family life back together, but don't forget the emotional side. On Oprah yesterday a doctor mentioned that there will be a large increase in heart attacks & strokes among women from these areas simply due to stress. I wish I could tell you exactly what steps you need to take, but no one knows what each of you will need. Are you & your family OK physically? How old are your girls & how are they handling this?
I lost a daughter to suicide & a house in fire, so I can somewhat understand your pain. But never can I imagine what it feels like to loose your community. For my husband & I, it was very helpful to find a therapy group of people that had experienced similar losses. Later I saw a therapist individually. This board has helped me tremendously & I'd like to see you return as often as possible. Again, finding people that have similar experiences is always helpful. We may not have the answers, but we will listen & be here for you. My email address is listed in my profile if you wish to communicate that way and I will keep watch for you here also.
My prayers are with you & your family.
Denise
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