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Replies to '12/26 "Brainwashed by My Parents"'

zygomatic

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Good

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October 4, 2008, 11:15 pm PDT

You Know Your Heart

Quote From: opinions07

hi, i read your story...I don't feel you did anything wrong...in fact I should have did the same...my boy is suffering because I did not leave out of state and kept him away. ...So don't feel guilty by no means....he should be the one feeling guilty, after all, he mentally and physically abused you...you were not in the right mind to think of your ex's feelings,you had to protect yourself and your boy....I know this because I went through it myself....you didn't brainwash your child...you just kept him safe....there are many situations out there where the parent should never be in a child's life as the child grows up...you never know what a crazy man would do...so now that you're son is an adult and if he chooses to get to know his father...it's his choice and if he comes to you and askes you why...just be honest with him......he will understand.

If your intention was to protect your son and keep him safe than the right thing was done. If your only intention was to keep your child from having a realtionship with his father than that would not have been the right thing to do. Only you know in your heart what the answer to that is. There are real abusers out there the same as PAS is a real and vicious problem. To justly protect your child from harm is what every responsible parent is supposed to do.

Just remember that your son is an adult now and can handle the situation. Wanting to connect with a parent that they didn't know that well is natural. Are you more afraid of that connection still harming your son or are you afraid that your ex will tell a different story? As I already said, only you know the truth. If it was a sincere desire to help your son than the choice made 33 years ago would be well put to rest and not eating you up anymore.

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grapeseed26

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Hyper

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October 6, 2008, 3:48 pm PDT

What would you do ? My response

Quote From: opinions07

hi, i read your story...I don't feel you did anything wrong...in fact I should have did the same...my boy is suffering because I did not leave out of state and kept him away. ...So don't feel guilty by no means....he should be the one feeling guilty, after all, he mentally and physically abused you...you were not in the right mind to think of your ex's feelings,you had to protect yourself and your boy....I know this because I went through it myself....you didn't brainwash your child...you just kept him safe....there are many situations out there where the parent should never be in a child's life as the child grows up...you never know what a crazy man would do...so now that you're son is an adult and if he chooses to get to know his father...it's his choice and if he comes to you and askes you why...just be honest with him......he will understand.

Thanks for responding to my post.

I am sorry that you also were abused. Have you been able to "move on"

It takes a long time for us to heal.

How do you go forward when all of a sudden the past comes back to you unexpected. It has been so long since I had any contact with my sons birth father.

How is your boy doing now?

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