Replies to 'Ready for Marriage?'

You don’t say how long were you together before you got married?
Be honest with yourself: did this behavior really just begin after June 28th? Before you got married, you probably saw ‘red flags’ but you convinced yourself to make excuses for his actions/words/behavior. Because you are both very young, insecurity is an issue between the two of you. Before you leave the marriage, I urge you to seek professional guidance to try to improve your relationship. Even it you still end up getting a divorce, a professional will be able to guide you towards what steps you can take to create a stronger sense of security within yourself. You deserve that. You also deserve to be happy; so don’t live another day playing these games back and forth - one of you has to make the decision to create positive change, and I urge you to do it. When he has his fits like a five year old, do not respond in the way that you normally would. He acts that way because it gets him what he wants; he gets the reactions that he wants/needs- you’ve got to no longer give that to him.

You and your husband are finding that marriage, does change some things in your relationship, however it does not have to be for the worse. first of all set him straight that you are not going to put up with his controling ways and being a jerk when he does not get his own way. You may be a couple, but you are still an individual, who had rights and needs. If neither of you want to get a divorce, then get your buts to marriage counselling and set the foundation and ground rules and talk about all the things that are going to come up in your marriage, ie parenting, insurance, new home,money, were to work, were to live, ect.

You also have to let him know that the person you signed up with for a life long commitment has suddenly dissapered and you want that guy back lol. It is not right nor fair for a person to bait and switch after the ink has dried. He needs to understand that both of you need your freind time and your couple time, if he is feeling insecure about your freindships that needs to be addressed. A word of advice hun, please put of starting your family untill this is all resolved. It is far better for a child to have two happy healthy parents who want a child to love, rather than two miserable parents who want a child to "fix" their marriage.

You sound like a mature young lady so i think you already know the right thing to do is not to start your family untill this is firmly resolved one way or another.

Get into counselling, both of you and individually for both of you, there are individual issues and marital issues that really need to be resolved here.

you may find that after some counselling sessions you find that you made a mistake and need to sever the marital tie, that is ok, but please seek professional help to help you both make the best possible decision for both of you. If he is not willing to seek proffesional help and get on baord with you to try to build a marriage, then I would have to say cut your losses and seek proffessional support for yourself. If he is on board with it, give it a sincere effort, and see what resolution can come from the help. good luck!

Tammy