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October 20, 2005, 8:00 am PDT
You can't.
Quote From: jeanniesknIn the beggining, my friend seemed helpful and almost like a big sister. She came into my life when I was separating with my husband. She was soooo helpful and almost too good to be true. By the time I became uncomfortable with her actions, regarding my children I didn't know how to confront the issue. My friend does not deal with conflict "at all". I knew if I said anything she would no longer be my friend. I finally said something and that is exactly what happened. I am very hurt, I really feel that you should be able to be honest with a true friend and she just wouln't allow me to be honest with her. I don't even want to make an effort to make new friends because I am tired of people that want to live a fantasy. I want to hear the truth, even if I don't like it, most people don't want truth. How can you have a friendship with no trust? It's difficult to answer this, since I'm not there to see how she operates. One clue though, is the fact that she came into your life when you were vulnerable. She was very helpful at first, but after awhile you began to feel uncomfortable.
Some people feel a need to be in control of somebody else because they have no control in their own lives. (I'm guessing here, because she does NOT control HER kids.) Often times these people will "latch" onto vulnerable people for just that reason, it's easier to get the upper hand that way.
Realize that she probably doesn't even consciousely know she is doing this. It's a behavior trait that is ingrained for whatever reason she needed it at one time in her life. However, knowing this does not make it OK for her to rule your life. This is often how abusive relationships between men and women start too. Send her packing unless she is willing to change her controlling ways.
This may not be the truth of the matter, it's only a guess from what you have written.
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