Quote From: juggalette_Im 18 years of age and ever since I was a child everybody thought I was quiet and shy. I've realized now that i've gotten older I have very bad anxiety. Its soo bad that when I am with people I know or out with my boyfriend and everybody else is talking and haveing a good time im just sitting there basicly not saying anything. I worry a lot about things, people talking about me, If people are gunna like me, what IF? I say something stupid. I dont make friends easily, im quit withdrawn and dont know anybody at my school what so ever. I've been with my boyfriend for over a year and a lot of times I have a hard time trying to come up with a conversation. I guess im just sick of beeing "the odd ball" and I do want to be social and be, maybe not the life of the party but I do want to be talkative and you know.. be normal. But the thoughts I get in my head or just the feelings from the anxiety just seem to overpower my logic.
HELP!
I completely understand where you are coming from.. When reading this I saw myself.. Like you, my family always just thought I was shy and quiet, but at the age of 16 I started having panic attacks (didn't know that is what they were) and when I would explain them to people they thought I was making it up to get out of doing things or that I was just lazy.. this is a progressive illness if you don't recieve counseling.. I at the age of 18 went to work in a nursing home for 5 years at 23 I moved out of state away from all my family to be with a man.. I got a job in a hospital and began again having panic attacks everytime I left my home.. it eventually became that I had called into work sick with these attacks so many times that they had to let me go, after that I began making excuse after excuse after excuse to not have to leave the house.. I no longer went out with my friends cause I would get a panic attack and make a fool of myself.. I lost my boyfriend cause I couldn't go out and it upset him.. I am now 26 years old and had to come and live with my grandparents, because I am completely unable to leave my house (especially not alone) I have been here 6 months and have left the house approx 5 times.. it is a very lonely exsistance.. I have no friends and no one to talk to.. my best friend lives 8 hours away and she does her best to call and let me know I am loved.. my other friends keep in touch over the internet and some still do try to invite me places, but I can never go cause there is always that thought of what if something bad happens, what if I have a panic attack and make a fool of myself, what if I get somewhere and something happens and I can't get away or get out? Please honey I didn't get help (tried but by the time I tried I couldn't even leave my house to go to the counsoulers office) get help right now, before you end up where I am.. Find a counselor who will work with you.. try anything or any method they ask of you.. fight this!! I wish I would of!
I wish you all the luck in the world and hope that you find happiness and peace..
