Quote From: mimaindiMy name is Kelly and I am seventeen years old and a senior in high school. I have been told by a "crazy" psychologist that I have sever depression, though I have no idea when I first started being depressed. I can barely remember my childhood, and what I can remember isn't normally happy. From what I can remember, I have always tried to hide all my feelings (except happiness) from my family and friends, especially my father.
I started huring myself when I was a little kid, just little things when i relized it caused pain, though at the time I didn't relize why I liked it. I started cutting myself around my sophmore year, though I haven't recently, because I can't risk it since my parents found out. I think about cutting myself every day, along with killing myself, and how much better it would be if I was just dead.
I have trust issues, loniness, and I am quite shy. My father tried sending me to a psycologist when he found out, since he was afraid of being arrested if he did nothing. The first one my parents sent me to was a cold person who treated the person like a broken toy. After I refused to go back, they sent me to another person, and when I refused to talk to her, she told my parents that she didn't want to make me come since I didn't want to. Thankfully since then my parents have acted like nothing was ever wrong, though I do want something to make the depression stop, or at least lessen.
I've been cutting since i was in sec 1 (I'm in sec 5 now) and I've been caught 3 times.
The 1st time was in sec 2 and i just made up some random lie so i wouldn't get in trouble for it.
Then they caught me again in sec 3 and they just told me it wasn't a normal thing to do, so i was just like ok wtv I'll stop. Which i didn't, and they caught me again in febuary of this year and they grounded me to try and make me stop?!
which i don't see as an effective method but whatever floats their boats i guess....
I still think about cutting everyday, it's always the thing on the back of my mind when I'm stressed out. And i have done a few times (like 3) since Febuary when i stopped.
My parents have also acted like nothings wrong since then, but i've also tried really hard for myself to stop.
I've talked to friends or teachers to get help.
I Know you probably don't want to, but talking to someone is a really good way of dealing with things.