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Replies to '06/03 Virtual Chaos'
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October 20, 2008, 11:15 am PDT
 Quote From: emantsal Addiction is addiction, no matter what form. Some people are addicted to drugs, alcohol, the usual suspects. Others are addicted in less known forms such as shoes (my specialty), or prehaps butting into other peoples business. We all seek avenues of blame, whether it's the drugs, alcohol, internet, our parents, our husbands/wives, etc., rather than deal with the real issues that are present in the relationships. (Husband/wife, parent/child, etc.). I don't buy the couple on the show that claimed that when the husband wasn't on the game he was the perfect hudband/dad. It may be what they want to believe, but I don't think that's the case. More than likely, if it wasn't the game it would be something else. What about the husbands that spend every weekend at the golf course, or spend all their money on NASCAR stuff, or stop by the bar every evening for a few before heading home? My husband began online gaming (Everquest 2) and would spend hours on the game. You know what? I joined him. Granted, we don't have little children. Our son at the time had graduated high school and was attending our local community college. To begin with we had to share one gaming computer. We bought a second relatively quickly so that we could play together. We both enjoy it and if we spend lots of time on the weekends playing the game, so what. We have never been a couple that went out alot, often refering to ourselves as modern day hermits. Introverts to the core, we prefer a quite home life. I do see the problems in those families profiled on the show, but the games are not the cause. They are only a manifestation of a deeper problem. If you don't want to spend time with your wife, an online game is a great way to avoid her. So is the local pool room, the local pub, the bowling alley, a friend's house, etc. The fact that the one wife allows it to go on to such an extent (husband stays home with kids while she's at work) shows that she is an enabler, or prehaps she has too many issues herself to deal with that confronting the problem headon is too much to handle. Personally I would crack the computer open and rearrange some of the internal pieces! Gist of this reply, quite trying to lay blame on inannimate objects. To blame a game, you must include the computer/game station it's played on. To blame the computer/game station, you must include the electricity powering the system. So, ultimately, it's the fault of Benjamin Franklin, who, because he discovered electricity, caused these people to become addicted. Quit making excuses for the poor state of your life. Get over "if"- get on with "life". I definitely agree. I've been in a relationship with someone who worked full-time, went to school full-time, and played WoW 3-4 nights a week for 6 hours at a time. I also played during the day since I didn't have to work and would play at night mostly because he was. We both definitely neglected our responsibilities: doing dishes, making dinner, paying bills, etc. However, the game WASN'T the problem! I was suffering (and had been before I played the game) from anxiety and depression. It was easier for me to sit inside all day and escape from reality than try to venture outside to get a job. It was a way to socialize without the pressure of entertaining friends when they come over or trying to think of a topic for conversation. For him, it was a stress reliever and the only form of alone time he got. Unlike college, which takes years of work to get a reward, he would get items every week from a raid. We are both straight edge, so we don't drink, smoke, etc; It was our form of release. We have since broken up and although he quit for a year, he is playing again. He is in a difficult relationship with a girl he is living with so he spends much of his time after work playing WoW in order to avoid her. She also plays, but is involved in different raids than he is so they don't spend time together while playing. Though there was a point where I was playing 14 hours a day during the summer a couple years ago, I have since learned how to control it and attempt to replace the addictive behavior with going out with real life friends or doing something constructive. However, I know I can fall back into that pattern at any time because it is so comfortable and familiar, especially to someone who is very introverted. I did not see the show, but my mom brought it to my attention because she knows how addicted I was. My biggest piece of advice to anyone dealing with gaming addiction is to look beyond the game and at the real issues behind why you or your SO is playing so much that it is interfering with real life. |
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October 20, 2008, 12:09 pm PDT
Quote From: emantsal Addiction is addiction, no matter what form. Some people are addicted to drugs, alcohol, the usual suspects. Others are addicted in less known forms such as shoes (my specialty), or prehaps butting into other peoples business. We all seek avenues of blame, whether it's the drugs, alcohol, internet, our parents, our husbands/wives, etc., rather than deal with the real issues that are present in the relationships. (Husband/wife, parent/child, etc.). I don't buy the couple on the show that claimed that when the husband wasn't on the game he was the perfect hudband/dad. It may be what they want to believe, but I don't think that's the case. More than likely, if it wasn't the game it would be something else. What about the husbands that spend every weekend at the golf course, or spend all their money on NASCAR stuff, or stop by the bar every evening for a few before heading home? My husband began online gaming (Everquest 2) and would spend hours on the game. You know what? I joined him. Granted, we don't have little children. Our son at the time had graduated high school and was attending our local community college. To begin with we had to share one gaming computer. We bought a second relatively quickly so that we could play together. We both enjoy it and if we spend lots of time on the weekends playing the game, so what. We have never been a couple that went out alot, often refering to ourselves as modern day hermits. Introverts to the core, we prefer a quite home life. I do see the problems in those families profiled on the show, but the games are not the cause. They are only a manifestation of a deeper problem. If you don't want to spend time with your wife, an online game is a great way to avoid her. So is the local pool room, the local pub, the bowling alley, a friend's house, etc. The fact that the one wife allows it to go on to such an extent (husband stays home with kids while she's at work) shows that she is an enabler, or prehaps she has too many issues herself to deal with that confronting the problem headon is too much to handle. Personally I would crack the computer open and rearrange some of the internal pieces! Gist of this reply, quite trying to lay blame on inannimate objects. To blame a game, you must include the computer/game station it's played on. To blame the computer/game station, you must include the electricity powering the system. So, ultimately, it's the fault of Benjamin Franklin, who, because he discovered electricity, caused these people to become addicted. Quit making excuses for the poor state of your life. Get over "if"- get on with "life". I wonder if the ‘addiction’ you have to shoes is ruining your life; that comment seemed rather flippant. You started the comment with, “Addiction is addiction, no matter what form.” Then inexplicably ended it with, “Quit making excuses for the poor state of your life. Get over "if"- get on with "life".” There is a complete dichotomy here. If you had an addiction , or knew anything about them you would understand that one cannot just ‘get over it.’ What does, “We all seek avenues of blame” mean? I don't like blanket statements; I find them irksome, and this one I really don’t understand. I have no addictions. Never have. I don't have the mechanism in my brain for it. I do agree that the husbands gaming habit is an avoidance technique. You referred to the wife as an enabler then carried on to reveal you joined your husband in his habit. I am confused and unsure of what point you are trying to make. |
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