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Replies to '06/06 "I'm Gay, OK?"'
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October 20, 2005, 5:57 pm PDT
 Quote From: judyblue22 Don't bother "coming out" to me, I'm just not interested. When I watched the daughter talking to her sister and mother, I thought she was confronting them for reasons other than her sexual orientation or their acceptance of it. There is some family history there that we didn't hear. She seemed to be throwing her sex life in their face unnecessarily.
I'm hetro but I still would never discuss my sexual relationship with anyone but the person I have sex with. I'm sure my parents would rather stick needles in their eyes than hear about it and I feel the exact same about their sex life. If someone in my family is homosexual, I would notice simply by virtue of the partners the person selected. I wouldn't feel any need to talk about it at all and I would prefer not to. I hear what you're saying because I don't wish to share/hear sexual stories either and I'm totally with you with the daughter flaunting her sex life - and about the tension between them having nothing to do with her being a lesbian. There's bad feelings that go waayyyy back.
I'd rather stick needles in MY eyes than have to listen to others' and what I do with whom is none of your business and I would NEVER saddle you with the stories. I only wish strangers on the bus and co-workers (all straight) would have that kind of consideration. Honestly if I had a dime for every stranger that told me about their sex life in situations like buses and planes where I've been trapped...I would be writing this from a condo in the tropics never having to work again! (Never had anyone in the GLBTA community tell me their stories though.)
Coming out though isn't 'wagging' one's sex life in someone's face, though. That's like saying when straight people finally become sexually active, they run around grinding their rear ends into each other or that when a couple starts going out they're going to be throwing each other on the ground and doing it every ten seconds.
The reason you don't need people coming out is because it's a non-issue to you. I know you don't care what my orientation is and we could have a fun chat over coffee, cry or laugh together at a movie and our orientations won't come up at all...so it'd be a non-issue between you and me.
Value in coming out - Mostly, you're at peace with yourself and there are no more lies in regards to it. You learn who your friends are, you may even dispell misconceptions and prejudices in people. You also learn about those people who you THOUGHT loved you. It keeps all the nosey-parker friends and relatives off your back as they parade their young single friends around you in hopes that FINALLY you'll meet the 'right one'. (I'm 42...I realise that's not old but WHEN will some people realise that THEY'RE not the ones to pick the 'right one' because all they've served up is a bunch of dirty old men, gigolos and toads? Please, nobody tell me about your aunt Frieda who fell in love and lost her virginity at age 97 or I shall be forced to find out where you live, put Ex-lax in your food and steal all of your toilet paper.)
So that's why it's important to some to come out. Very few people know about my orientation because they've never really asked and I don't find it important enough to tell them. |
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