Replies to '06/03 Virtual Chaos'

My son began this new world (WoW) at age 14. He is now 17, extremely intelligent however he also had an episode at age 14 (I believe) that made him turn to WoW for power, strength, self-esteem, etc.  Our entire family realizes the game has been an issue for quite some time now and we conducted our own intervention.  Prior to the intervention I studied a great deal about this game so I'd be able to speak on his level.  We touched on several subjects to help him see into his behavior and way of life.  To this day he denies anything happened at school, however, he came home from school one day and refused to ever return - so you can decide for yourself.  This is when he entered the WoW.

My son attended a private school to complete high school and graduate with a diploma.  He graduated one year early and moved away to room with his sister who is attending college.  He enrolled in college, went one day and sadly enough, he couldn't get up to go to school again.  He plays WoW into the wee hours of the morning and simply cannot get up until late afternoon or evening.

During our intervention, we all shared how much we loved him, wanted to help him, we all took tests on our attitude, self-esteem and even discussed introvert and extrovert.  I'm sure we made an impact simply because we kept everything on a calm level.  I could not find anyone to lead this intervention, therefore, I studied a great deal and knew I had to remain calm (even being his mother).  He has actually began to come down and eat with us and on occasion watch one t.v. program with us.  He has also mentioned that he would like to try college again.

My son is a young 17,as I mentioned earlier, very intelligent and really listened to what we had to say.  He couldn't look at any of us during our conversations, however, he commented regularly so I knew he was with us.  To confirm, the changes I mentioned above began to take place.  He is currently attempting to turn himself around on his sleep pattern due to his desire to return to college.

My problem is, I need someone to talk to on a regular basis that can help lead me in the right direction to helping him.  I couldn't find any way to connect with an ex-gamer that has had success quitting this game and maintained success.  I went onto several boards but find no way to contact anyone with their success stories.  I believe he wants to help himself but is drawn to this game time and time again.  He plays all night long, much of the time more than 10 hours and can't seem to get his priorities straight.

I don't want my child to be 25 or older and still addicted to this WoW.  A person has one true chance in life to make something of themself and I want to do what is necessary to help him succeed in life.

I read some of the comments by other mothers on here asking where to draw the line and I must say... STOP  IT  NOW.  While your child is still new at this game and you have control, please intervene.  Of course you will get the "meltdown", but this is called tough love and I personally wish I had begun long ago.  As time goes on, the addiction becomes worse for those who are addicted.  If you, as a mom or dad, are questioning "if" your child is addicted, you have answered your own question.  YES !!! 

My son became addicted very quickly because it was a world of fiction where he could become powerful. Yes, a trauma caused him to turn to this.  Yet, I realized too late and even once realizing, I let it continue so we could focus on getting him through high school and graduating.  He dropped from a straight "A" student to barely passing grades in private school.  He began to not eat, got very thin and extremely pale from lack of sun.  We (my husband and myself) rarely saw him even though he was home all day.  He was once a very out-going person with the desire to have friends.  He is now very withdrawn and lonely. 

I had hoped college life would change his perspective since college students are beyond those in high school who have formed their groups and bully other kids.  Sadly enough, he did not give that a chance. Hopefully when he returns to live with his sister and attempt college again, he will find that this is a new world.  Currently, all I can do is pray and speak to him about WoW and tell him stories of all that I've read.  Don't question your gutt feeling as a parent.  Act on it before it gets too far out of hand.

If anyone knows of any ex-gamers I can communicate with on a one-on-one basis via email or otherwise that would be willing to talk with my son and myself, I would be grateful to gain this information as I feel only an ex-gamer, one who has been there and beat the addiction, can help someone in this position.

Thank you for your time.