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Replies to '12/30 Extreme Discipline?'
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October 31, 2008, 7:35 am PDT
 Quote From: dancingfeather I can imagine that his father was the *hammer* with him because his mom was too lenient? It is ridiculous to be a *hammer* on a child. You don't *hammer* discipline. A child has to be taught not *hammered*.
How can one have a desire for a child then try to *hammer* life into them? One never learns anything this way and more than not can turn the child into a drug abuser, street walker etc. and yes..suicide.
You want your child to learn, think of how you would have wanted your parents to teach you, help you when you did things wrong because when we are children in learning process we do not realize the full extent of what we do wrong. I realize many things I did when I was a child and teenager..that I fully didn't know what I was doing was wrong.
Spanking, hitting, depriving food, etc doesn't help. There is a right way to do things and a wrong way..the problem is that we get manuals how to take care of anything we buy but we never got one to be a parent. We are just thrown into life and parenting not knowing what we are doing and thinking what we are doing is right..yet it isn't because we do not fully understand how to be a parent because we were not *taught* to be one.
I truly believe that there should not only be prepartions to be married but also what it is to be a parent. Then maybe people would think about it before having children and be prepared. We all just get married, have kids and not knowing more than we did when we were kids knowing right from wrong.
If we did then no parent would have trouble with their kids and no kid would get into trouble or have to be *hammered*.
yes i understand what u are saying, but if we all wait till we understood what it means to have a child there would be no new children b/c i don't think there is a book out there that tells bout real life.YOU HAVE TO LIVE IT YOUR WAY!!!!!! i'm a father of three children & 1 of which iwas kept from for 9 years & 1 is my step-daughter .i wasn't shown all the right ways to live or how to be a loving person as a child myself.i admit that with my first child (early in life)it was the reason that my x &i split up b/c i did't know how to be a father . i'm now 36 ,have my own bussiness & love being a father,however when my 13 year old daughter does things such as lie & manipulate situations to her advantage is a disrespect to me & my wife(her mom).we both work very hard to provide for our kids & when things like this happen i become the quoted hammer .I DONT MIND AT ALL being the disipline one b/c my wife & alot of wives are very soft hearted.nothing wrong with that but a soft heart never raises a kid with strong values . one must make an impression on a kid to get through to them & i think that later in life these kids will respect there parents & not talk back or disrepect them . to many kids are being raised with this liberal attitude that kids need to be taken alittle lighter .i think if more parents weren't so easy on there kids there wouldn't be as many running around this country without any respect for anything or anybody. have you all not been out in public to see these kids walking all over there parents verbally and in more ways. iwillnot have it , my kids will have a overall respect & dignity about them in public places or they cajn stay at home till they learn how to be respectfull to us (as parents ) & in general to others . my daughter is very smart & respectful to others but she still does your tipical teen things to get in trouble & people say i, to hard on her .GUESS WHAT,THAT IS NOT GOING TO CHANGE UNTILL SHE IS 18. at that point she is a adult & responsible for her own actions ,but until then she will obey & respect me & her mom for what we go through every day to provide for all of us as a family. look i wasn't giving much as a kid , ileft home when i was 15 to go to work and finish school ,so i could get on with my life . i got away from a bad life & started my own.yes i had alot to learn & i'm still learning today but no one can tell me that what i'm doing is abuse like they did today with the gentelman on your show . has anyone thought that this kid could be making this out to worse than it really is. i know our daughter did something similar with our familys ,telling them that things were so bad b/c we never let her do anything & i was always on her case . well yes i am ,AND NO she doesn't do anything(goto mall without adults or football games or partys or dances ) not going to either. but i know alot of parents let there kids do the things but i know where they lead .sorry not gonna be that parent ,go ahead & let your kids run your life i'm not.but my daughter will be @ home doing homework and studying . don't get it twisted my kid goes on cruises & to disney & gets nice clothes , shoes , jewelry, xboxs, wii , telephones , ipods , and so on. but that is not enough for her not to go telling everybody that shes got it so bad . I'M TIRED OF HEARING THIS FROM SO MANY KIDS !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i feel bad for the man this morning & wish this issue to be addressed more often . i would love to get into this disscusion with dr. phil himself !!!!!!!!!!!!i would fill his ears with examples of things he wouldn't understand & maybe he would change the way he looks at this subject! Thanks, bad dad |
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