Replies to '10/28 Cyber Bullying'

I agree that bullying is no worse, simply because it is on the internet. In a way it is better, than having them making phone calls or egging your house, or beating you up... or even mouthing off in front of other people at school.

It's and interesting co-incidence that I am 48, and was also picked on in school. I never fit in really... and I caught quite a bit of flack in school, I almost never think of it now. The weird thing too is that whenever I see one of my former bullies now, they try to be ultra nice to me. They never mention the bullying, and they act like we were best friends in school or something. I think this is kind of weird, but whatever gets them through the day. I suspect it bothers them a lot more than it does me, cause a lot of stuff has happened in the last thirty year that makes my highschool days look rather bland and unimportant. I admit I haven't exactly forgiven them all, but it isn't something that I think about now. I honestly think it stopped bothering me at least 20 years ago... completely. Some of it had to do with finding out that one of my ex bullies, life was really miserable last time our paths crossed. Karma works, and even though she hurt me, I still wish that woman's life was better. I mean she deserves it, but still... I wish her load was a bit lighter. Believe me what goes around comes around, and usually long after they give up bullying and become wives and mothers, and try to be respectable, that is when Karma comes to roost. Not only is revenge a dish that is best served cold. You don't even have to serve it. It just happens. Life always kicks bullies in the teeth when they least expect it.

I believe we experience many things in life, and scars can heal. What happens to us in life is sometimes beyond our control, but how we think and feel about it, is our choice.. It has been thirty years, so why hold on to this any more? Why let it rule your life? It sounds like this impacted your self image, while with me it really didn't. They were the ones who were flawed, not us. See it now, even if you couldn't see it then. YOU weren't weaker, THEY were weaker. They were the ones who were messed up, psychologically flawed, and such. They were just mixed up flawed kids. They probably grew up to be mixed up flawed adults. You cannot change the past, and you can't change other people, but you can change yourself, and how you feel about yourself. I agree, they wrote on your slate. A lot of people have wrote on all our slates, People say things to us every day, and we choose how to interpret them. WE can take it personally, or we can realize that the way people act is more about them than us. As children we don't know that, but as adults, when we look back, we should realize that the child that picked on us WAS just a child, who was acting out because THEY were desturbed, trumatized, or otherwise flawed or damaged, It had nothing to do with us, other than the fact we were there.

Dwelling on the past isn't productive, and dwelling on a negative past, just draws negativity to you. It is better to forgive and forget, and just move on. You are an adult now, and YOU choose what your life is about. I know it is hard to get over that stuff. I remember for many years after high school, I would feel anger and hatred as I thumbed through the year book, or when certain people's names were mentioned, but eventually you just have to put those things away and move on. You have to realize that those people have nothing to do with your life now. Those things are in the past, and it is only you who are clinging to them and giving them a life of their own in the present.