Replies to '10/30 Dr. Phil's Get Real Retreat'

Hi Cheryle.

I guess you're expecting (or maybe you're not) for someone to reply with the question ..."Why are you still with this guy?"

The most important person in the world is you ...you come first.  If someone in your world is making life unpleasant then you need to do something to correct that.  I suppose you could try to correct his behaviour, but we all know it's pretty darned impossible to change somebody.  So that leaves removing him from your life.  What's keeping you with him?  If he's as terrible a person as you say, why do you want him around. 

Can you move on and start fresh with your children and grandkids?  Are you able to tell him to take a hike?  You say a lot about all the bad things he's done, do you do bad things too?  Do you sabotage the relationship somehow? 

Without knowing much about your history with this man it seems from a stranger's perspective that you two just aren't a good match. 

You sound like you want to make a decision between him and your family ...the choice seems obvious to me.  I think you should stand up for your family and move on..

This one single life we are given is far too short to be in a miserable relationship, and you do sound miserable. 

I want for you to be strong and to be happy.  Is that what you want?  Or are you on some level comfortable with being miserable and having lots to complain about.  It seems sometimes that it's easiest to just complain about what's wrong rather than making the efforts that are required to effect real change in our life to make things better. 

I'm going to repeat myself ..I want for you to be strong.

I hope in some small way this helps, even though I know you're stuck in a horrible pattern of familiarity and comfort.  It's going to be very difficult to change your life to make it the way you want it, so that you're happy every day instead of miserable.  It's hard work to be happy ...and sometimes just way too easy to be sad.  Are you willing to work at this and spend time and energy in making your world better for you?  I hope you are.