Replies to '06/06 "I'm Gay, OK?"'

My theory is - All humans are born potentially bi-sexual and yes, sexuality starts at birth.  The new born is sexual.  It is just not manifested in children the same way as during puberty, when the physical characteristics start to set in.   

Do NOT confuse sexuality with behavior.  I said children are sexual and do have sexual feelings.  I did not say that they necessarily act out in terms of what we would call "sexual acts."  Children may act out a sexual feeling in ways that we would not necessarily consider sexual.   

For instance, I know now that I felt sexual attraction in connection with males before I was 4 Yrs old. 

This is a true story:  I remember once when my 11 yr old male Cousin came to my house for a visit.  I owned a toddler's ride-about stuffed horse.  My prized possession!  My cousin took my horse away  from me and sat down on it very hard, bending the legs.  He was clearly too heavy for it and it was starting to break.  I remember being incredibly frustrated and crying at him to get off my horse  before he ruined it completely.  He remained on it bouncing and laughing.  While all this was happening, I can recall experiencing a sexual feeling, a kind of pleasure/frustration all at once, perhaps from seeing him straddling my horse.  There was absolutely no physical contact between us.  I believe an adult then came in and ordered him off the horse.  In any case, the legs were almost crushed..  Now to my 3 1/2 Yr old mind, all horses were male animals then.  I recall that after the visitors had left and I was alone in my room with the stuffed horse, I pulled my pants down and proceeded to piddle all over it, soaking and ruining the soft fabric.  I was probably punished, after all I was already potty trained, my parents having no idea why I did such a thing.  My thoroughly ruined horse was thrown out.   I definitely know now that my childish urination act was clearly, an act of masturbation.   It came about as a result of the powerlessness and frustration I felt about my prized toy, and the fact that it was ruined by another male.  The fact that the horse (in my mind) was male, probably had some significance too. 

I present that true scenario just as one example of how a toddler might act out his/her sexuality   And believe me, that act was definitely sexual.  I still remember it. 

As a Psychologist, I have been studying human sexuality for over 40 years.  I would suggest you read some of the works of Sigmund Freud regarding sexuality. 

BTW, nobody can choose to "fall in love."  Falling in love is quite involuntary and is a sexual manifestation.  One might fall in love with someone of the same sex.  Although falling in love is not love, it certainly is a prerequisite for starting a sexual relationship, that hopefully will lead to true love.  Otherwise, one might as well just have a platonic relationship with someone that is loved.  I'd suggest reading M. Scott Peck MD - "The Road Less Traveled"  for further explanations regarding what is love and what it is not love. 

My theory is - All humans are born potentially bi-sexual and yes, sexuality starts at birth.  The new born is sexual.  It is just not manifested in children the same way as during puberty, when the physical characteristics start to set in.   

Do NOT confuse sexuality with behavior.  I said children are sexual and do have sexual feelings.  I did not say that they necessarily act out in terms of what we would call "sexual acts."  Children may act out a sexual feeling in ways that we would not necessarily consider sexual.   

For instance, I know now that I felt sexual attraction in connection with males before I was 4 Yrs old. 

This is a true story:  I remember once when my 11 yr old male Cousin came to my house for a visit.  I owned a toddler's ride-about stuffed horse.  My prized possession!  My cousin took my horse away  from me and sat down on it very hard, bending the legs.  He was clearly too heavy for it and it was starting to break.  I remember being incredibly frustrated and crying at him to get off my horse  before he ruined it completely.  He remained on it bouncing and laughing.  While all this was happening, I can recall experiencing a sexual feeling, a kind of pleasure/frustration all at once, perhaps from seeing him straddling my horse.  There was absolutely no physical contact between us.  I believe an adult then came in and ordered him off the horse.  In any case, the legs were almost crushed..  Now to my 3 1/2 Yr old mind, all horses were male animals then.  I recall that after the visitors had left and I was alone in my room with the stuffed horse, I pulled my pants down and proceeded to piddle all over it, soaking and ruining the soft fabric.  I was probably punished, after all I was already potty trained, my parents having no idea why I did such a thing.  My thoroughly ruined horse was thrown out.   I definitely know now that my childish urination act was clearly, an act of masturbation.   It came about as a result of the powerlessness and frustration I felt about my prized toy, and the fact that it was ruined by another male.  The fact that the horse (in my mind) was male, probably had some significance too. 

I present that true scenario just as one example of how a toddler might act out his/her sexuality   And believe me, that act was definitely sexual.  I still remember it. 

As a Psychologist, I have been studying human sexuality for over 40 years.  I would suggest you read some of the works of Sigmund Freud regarding sexuality. 

BTW, nobody can choose to "fall in love."  Falling in love is quite involuntary and is a sexual manifestation.  One might fall in love with someone of the same sex.  Although falling in love is not love, it certainly is a prerequisite for starting a sexual relationship, that hopefully will lead to true love.  Otherwise, one might as well just have a platonic relationship with someone that is loved.  I'd suggest reading M. Scott Peck MD - "The Road Less Traveled"  for further explanations regarding what is love and what it is not love. 

My theory is - All humans are born potentially bi-sexual and yes, sexuality starts at birth.  The new born is sexual.  It is just not manifested in children the same way as during puberty, when the physical characteristics start to set in.   

Do NOT confuse sexuality with behavior.  I said children are sexual and do have sexual feelings.  I did not say that they necessarily act out in terms of what we would call "sexual acts."  Children may act out a sexual feeling in ways that we would not necessarily consider sexual.   

For instance, I know now that I felt sexual attraction in connection with males before I was 4 Yrs old. 

This is a true story:  I remember once when my 11 yr old male Cousin came to my house for a visit.  I owned a toddler's ride-about stuffed horse.  My prized possession!  My cousin took my horse away  from me and sat down on it very hard, bending the legs.  He was clearly too heavy for it and it was starting to break.  I remember being incredibly frustrated and crying at him to get off my horse  before he ruined it completely.  He remained on it bouncing and laughing.  While all this was happening, I can recall experiencing a sexual feeling, a kind of pleasure/frustration all at once, perhaps from seeing him straddling my horse.  There was absolutely no physical contact between us.  I believe an adult then came in and ordered him off the horse.  In any case, the legs were almost crushed..  Now to my 3 1/2 Yr old mind, all horses were male animals then.  I recall that after the visitors had left and I was alone in my room with the stuffed horse, I pulled my pants down and proceeded to piddle all over it, soaking and ruining the soft fabric.  I was probably punished, after all I was already potty trained, my parents having no idea why I did such a thing.  My thoroughly ruined horse was thrown out.   I definitely know now that my childish urination act was clearly, an act of masturbation.   It came about as a result of the powerlessness and frustration I felt about my prized toy, and the fact that it was ruined by another male.  The fact that the horse (in my mind) was male, probably had some significance too. 

I present that true scenario just as one example of how a toddler might act out his/her sexuality   And believe me, that act was definitely sexual.  I still remember it. 

As a Psychologist, I have been studying human sexuality for over 40 years.  I would suggest you read some of the works of Sigmund Freud regarding sexuality. 

BTW, nobody can choose to "fall in love."  Falling in love is quite involuntary and is a sexual manifestation.  One might fall in love with someone of the same sex.  Although falling in love is not love, it certainly is a prerequisite for starting a sexual relationship, that hopefully will lead to true love.  Otherwise, one might as well just have a platonic relationship with someone that is loved.  I'd suggest reading M. Scott Peck MD - "The Road Less Traveled"  for further explanations regarding what is love and what it is not love. 

My theory is - All humans are born potentially bi-sexual and yes, sexuality starts at birth.  The new born is sexual.  It is just not manifested in children the same way as during puberty, when the physical characteristics start to set in.   

Do NOT confuse sexuality with behavior.  I said children are sexual and do have sexual feelings.  I did not say that they necessarily act out in terms of what we would call "sexual acts."  Children may act out a sexual feeling in ways that we would not necessarily consider sexual.   

For instance, I know now that I felt sexual attraction in connection with males before I was 4 Yrs old. 

This is a true story:  I remember once when my 11 yr old male Cousin came to my house for a visit.  I owned a toddler's ride-about stuffed horse.  My prized possession!  My cousin took my horse away  from me and sat down on it very hard, bending the legs.  He was clearly too heavy for it and it was starting to break.  I remember being incredibly frustrated and crying at him to get off my horse  before he ruined it completely.  He remained on it bouncing and laughing.  While all this was happening, I can recall experiencing a sexual feeling, a kind of pleasure/frustration all at once, perhaps from seeing him straddling my horse.  There was absolutely no physical contact between us.  I believe an adult then came in and ordered him off the horse.  In any case, the legs were almost crushed..  Now to my 3 1/2 Yr old mind, all horses were male animals then.  I recall that after the visitors had left and I was alone in my room with the stuffed horse, I pulled my pants down and proceeded to piddle all over it, soaking and ruining the soft fabric.  I was probably punished, after all I was already potty trained, my parents having no idea why I did such a thing.  My thoroughly ruined horse was thrown out.   I definitely know now that my childish urination act was clearly, an act of masturbation.   It came about as a result of the powerlessness and frustration I felt about my prized toy, and the fact that it was ruined by another male.  The fact that the horse (in my mind) was male, probably had some significance too. 

I present that true scenario just as one example of how a toddler might act out his/her sexuality   And believe me, that act was definitely sexual.  I still remember it. 

As a Psychologist, I have been studying human sexuality for over 40 years.  I would suggest you read some of the works of Sigmund Freud regarding sexuality. 

BTW, nobody can choose to "fall in love."  Falling in love is quite involuntary and is a sexual manifestation.  One might fall in love with someone of the same sex.  Although falling in love is not love, it certainly is a prerequisite for starting a sexual relationship, that hopefully will lead to true love.  Otherwise, one might as well just have a platonic relationship with someone that is loved.  I'd suggest reading M. Scott Peck MD - "The Road Less Traveled"  for further explanations regarding what is love and what it is not love.