Replies to '06/06 "I'm Gay, OK?"'

Quote From: cosmo_bc

 

 I was surprised by the "I'm Gay" show and Dr. Phil's handling of the topic.  I've been watching the show for a long time and as a lesbian have noted the total absence of any gay couples on the show.  It made me the realize Dr. Phil just isn't that comfortable dealing with the issue of homosexuality.  That has not prevented my partner and I from putting to good use many of the ideas and couples solutions Dr. Phil offers!  Good advice, no matter what equipment resides in the pants.

It was fairly obvious to me that Dr. Phil purposely didn't state his own opinions of being gay, yet focused on ensuring people were being their authentic selves -- whatever that was, gay or straight.  I felt that it was the mark of a good therapist to be able to focus in on the other person without allowing any of his own discomforts to interfere.  Good job, Doc!
 

The one criticism I would have is that the lesbian on the show was trying to express how deeply the issues go and no one seemed to get that.  Being a lesbian affects every part of my life, just as being straight affects every part of a heterosexual's life.  It's part of my identity, which I carry with me in everything I do.  I don't express my homosexuality to "flaunt" it, but I do express that part of who I am freely.  People ask, "Are you married?  Do you have children?" without a second thought ... and the assumption is always that I'm straight.  I feel I have the right to derail those assumptions.

I had to disagree with his assessment of the 4 year old who expressed clear gender confusion issues.  I think people just know what gender they are meant to be from the time they first become self aware in any manner.  If I had a child in that position I would find it extremely difficult because the path is a rocky one, but I think it's critical to honour that child's authentic self.  Kids are a whole lot smarter than us grown ups give them credit for!  He probably is clearer on the issue than either Dr. Phil or the parents.  It is a tough one, though.

As for being homosexual and christian ... it's a not an easy pairing.  One quote I found rather humorous in a slightly cynical way is, "The Bible contains 6 admonishments to homosexuals and 362 admonishments to heterosexuals. That doesn't mean that God doesn't love heterosexuals. It's just that they need more supervision."

Being homosexual does not prevent one from worshipping, but it does make it difficult to worship within the confines of certain religions.  My opinion is to keep it simple ... go where you are loved and accepted rather than trying to change the church.  There are plenty of organized religions that welcome homosexuals.  I find any religion that adheres to exclusionary practices suspect.  Christians like to speak a often of love and tolerance, but it seems many of them are unable to put it into practice.  Like any support group, I think we need to find the church that gives us the love, hope and support we need to be the best people we can be.