Replies to '10/29 Gender Confused Children'

I know your pain and I know the love you have for your son.  When I saw the preview for this show the hair on the back of my neck stood up.  I made a point of leaving work early so I could watch the show. Why? Because since my son was 14 months old, he was strongly interested in "girl" things.  We bought him trucks, etc, but they went unplayed with.  Instead, my baby  would put on my apron and twirl around, dance and laugh. I had never seen anything like this and I was concerned.  I talked to my son's pediatrician and was told not to worry he would outgrow it.  We always dressed him as a boy. But my son played dressup and played with the little girls at daycare, not the boys.  I felt conflicted; I loved my baby fiercely, yet he was not like my friends' boys. There was a sense of shame...what had I done wrong?  How could I fix it?  My husband was accepting to a point but deep down our son was causing a rift in our marriage. My friends were understanding, but I felt so alone.  I had never met anyone with this situation.  I was isolated yet fiercely protective of my son.  And my husband's family was very critical.

UNLESS YOU'VE BEEN THROUGH THIS, YOU CANNOT POSSIBLEY UNDERSTAND...At age 3, I took my son to a child psychiatrist.  He recommended that we should at this time no longer let my son dressup as a girl during playtime, etc.  So began the painful journey of telling my toddler he could no longer dressup in girl's clothes.  It was distressing to both my son and us.  I will never forget the day when my son was 4 and we sat together on the stairs.  He was crying and he told me he wanted to be a girl.  My heart broke!  He was my baby!  All I could do was hug him and tell him God made him a boy and he was deeply loved.

In time, my son accepted our decision; however, when putting laundry away I would discover one of my old bras hidden under his clothes.  I would remove these items and not mention it.  When he went to preschool, K and elementary school, he was dressed as a boy.  He is very handsome, has large hazel eyes, long eyelashes and is naturally atheletic.  He made friends with some boys but mostly girls.  He did not enjoy team sports.  He preferred climbing trees, nature and art.  But somehow the kids new he was different and would tease him, calling him a girl.  He would come home crying and we would talk it through.  Children can be so mean.

When he entered Middle School, the lable GAY was assigned to my son.  Having no idea what that meant, he looked it up on the internet and was flooded with gay pornography. He was bullied verbally and physically, but he held his own.  He was bright and articulate. He stood up for the things he believed in.

He's now 16.  He claims he has no memory of dressing up or wanting to be a girl.  I find that hard to believe but I don't push him, I just love him.  His father and I divorced when he was 12.  Although we are both Catholic Christians, I believe there are shades of gray in life, while he only believes in black or white.  My son has been going to a therapist for 2 years.  I think he still struggles.  He may be gay, only time will tell. But I love him.  Just the way GOD made him.  GOD makes no mistakes.  GOD is love.

So to you my friend, I say just continue to love your boy.  Tell your brother to mind his own business and to love his nephew.  I know your pain and I know your love for your son.  To the rest of you: UNTIL YOU'VE WALKED IN MY SHOES, DON'T JUDGE!  It's not your place.  GOD would not have it.

I know your pain and I know the love you have for your son.  When I saw the preview for this show the hair on the back of my neck stood up.  I made a point of leaving work early so I could watch the show. Why? Because since my son was 14 months old, he was strongly interested in "girl" things.  We bought him trucks, etc, but they went unplayed with.  Instead, my baby  would put on my apron and twirl around, dance and laugh. I had never seen anything like this and I was concerned.  I talked to my son's pediatrician and was told not to worry he would outgrow it.  We always dressed him as a boy. But my son played dressup and played with the little girls at daycare, not the boys.  I felt conflicted; I loved my baby fiercely, yet he was not like my friends' boys. There was a sense of shame...what had I done wrong?  How could I fix it?  My husband was accepting to a point but deep down our son was causing a rift in our marriage. My friends were understanding, but I felt so alone.  I had never met anyone with this situation.  I was isolated yet fiercely protective of my son.  And my husband's family was very critical.

UNLESS YOU'VE BEEN THROUGH THIS, YOU CANNOT POSSIBLEY UNDERSTAND...At age 3, I took my son to a child psychiatrist.  He recommended that we should at this time no longer let my son dressup as a girl during playtime, etc.  So began the painful journey of telling my toddler he could no longer dressup in girl's clothes.  It was distressing to both my son and us.  I will never forget the day when my son was 4 and we sat together on the stairs.  He was crying and he told me he wanted to be a girl.  My heart broke!  He was my baby!  All I could do was hug him and tell him God made him a boy and he was deeply loved.

In time, my son accepted our decision; however, when putting laundry away I would discover one of my old bras hidden under his clothes.  I would remove these items and not mention it.  When he went to preschool, K and elementary school, he was dressed as a boy.  He is very handsome, has large hazel eyes, long eyelashes and is naturally atheletic.  He made friends with some boys but mostly girls.  He did not enjoy team sports.  He preferred climbing trees, nature and art.  But somehow the kids new he was different and would tease him, calling him a girl.  He would come home crying and we would talk it through.  Children can be so mean.

When he entered Middle School, the lable GAY was assigned to my son.  Having no idea what that meant, he looked it up on the internet and was flooded with gay pornography. He was bullied verbally and physically, but he held his own.  He was bright and articulate. He stood up for the things he believed in.

He's now 16.  He claims he has no memory of dressing up or wanting to be a girl.  I find that hard to believe but I don't push him, I just love him.  His father and I divorced when he was 12.  Although we are both Catholic Christians, I believe there are shades of gray in life, while he only believes in black or white.  My son has been going to a therapist for 2 years.  I think he still struggles.  He may be gay, only time will tell. But I love him.  Just the way GOD made him.  GOD makes no mistakes.  GOD is love.

So to you my friend, I say just continue to love your boy.  Tell your brother to mind his own business and to love his nephew.  I know your pain and I know your love for your son.  To the rest of you: UNTIL YOU'VE WALKED IN MY SHOES, DON'T JUDGE!  It's not your place.  GOD would not have it.