Replies to '12/30 Extreme Discipline?'

See, this man on the show today (and, it sounds like you also fit into that mold) is a perfect example of why you don't physically or verbally or emotionally abuse your children and call it "discipline"!

The cycle repeats itself.

Doesn't mean you should allow your children to walk all over you, or be undisciplined brats.   Personally, I think that's also a form of abuse because you set them up for failure if you don't teach them how the world works. But, hey, parents....use CREATIVE parenting!

I raised three wonderful, successful children who are terrific parents...they grew up with rules and discipline, and I didn't have to smack them around or verbally or emotionally terrorize them in order to accomplish this.   

It takes TRUE intelligence to use creative parenting; anything else is plain bullying, used by lazy and uneducated parents, and never has a positive effect.

You saw the effect of that type of bullying and failure in today's show. 

You are right in that your child does need to be treated as a child. That does not mean the child is your personal punching bag (either mentally or physically). If your child is lying and manipulating, why is she? What are you doing that makes her so afraid to tell you the truth? A young girl will write in her diary/journal what she cannot tell the rest of the world. Short of someone being truly pathological, why would she lie in a journal no one is meant to see?

I have three children (24,21,18). They are all decent respectful people. My husband did not have to beat them, call them names, make up outlandish punishments, to get their respect. We earned their respect, as they have earned ours. We have had no run ins with drugs, police, school or inappropriate sexual behavior. I have found over the years of observing many of the families we know, that those who were the so called "hammer" tend to have kids who acted out alot worse than a normal teenager. These kids seemed to feel no one really cared or trusted them, so they might as well do the bad things they were accused of.

I ask you to stop and think about why you feel such a need to be in control of another human being. You can have great kids, without discipline problems, if you set your rules and can be flexible as they grow.