Replies to '12/30 Extreme Discipline?'

The daughter doesn't RESPECT her father, she FEARS him! She is afraid to say no because he has told her he will "break" her. She is afraid to say no. This man is KILLING her spirit. He is DAMAGING her in ways that will haunt her for the rest of her life with out counseling and support. Just because he isn't "physically" damaging her doesn't mean he is not hurting her emotionally and spiritually. What he is doling out is not discipline, it is punishment and abuse. So, you advocate "disciplining" children by use of intimidation and fear, as long as there is no hitting? Yes, as children grow up and BEGIN TO HAVE A MIND AND OPINIONS OF THEIR OWN, in adolescence, they, not being mature enough yet to control their emotions, like adults are supposed to do (yeah right), begin to believe that they know better than their parents. They talk back, question authority, get angry, and act like the not-quite-adults they think they are. It is then incumbent upon the parents to act like an adult, mature, in-control role model, and follow through with consequences for bad behavior, to TEACH the child that bad behavior brings unwanted and sometimes unpleasant actions. The child then LEARNS that there are consequences for that sort of behavior, just like in the real world. For example, when my then teenage son was acting like a jerk and not respecting his belongings, things that I had purchased for his comfort and enjoyment, I took them away from him. He had to earn them back with good behavior. When he was behaving angrily and stomping into his room and slamming the door, I warned him that if he continued I would remove his door. He continued, and I removed it. I took the bedroom door off and he had to earn it back by behaving better. It really had an effect on him, and he LEARNED and realized that his bad behavior wasn't going to get him anywhere. He LEARNED that I meant what I said, that his bad behavior was unacceptable, and I did it without belittling him, shaming him, or emotionally abusing him. I allowed him to use his own brain and figure out for himself that what he was doing was causing him inconvenience, a loss of privacy, and made his life tougher.

You sound like you are still angry. Hopefully you have no children of your own.

You seem to equate a history of abuse as somehow strengthening.  I think you are the sort who would agree with  the "whatever doesn't kill you makes you stronger" philosophy.  What you don't seem to understand is that like a broken bone, an emotional wound needs to be healed too, otherwise we all simply walk around crippled.  I would like to think of our country as being strong and healthy, not weak and crippled.  Abuse is crippling, not strengthening.