Replies to '06/10 Marriage Crisis: Drowning in Debt'

Hi my name is James and suffer with OCD and depression. The best advice I can give you is to hold on! And what I mean by hold on is that you need to take a break from your thoughts if you can and if not get away from the computer and go and be with people or do something active. Being alone with your thoughts will lead to no good. Ruminations about what's going wrong in your life will only lead to more bad thoughts and depression.

In life, crap happens. In fact crap happens to lots of us. In no way am I saying you don't have a right to be scared or unhappy about your current situation but try and focus on what's going right. I know it sounds crazy but take an inventory in your life at what is going right or what you have to be thankful for. I would even suggest you writing down every night at least three things that you're grateful for (ie healthy kids, the polite person you met today, your own courage to admit you have a problem and ask for help, other people who have come forward to reach out to help you (eg. me), etc.

I can tell you from experience that negative thoughts only lead to trouble. You might say but that's all I see. Maybe, but there is always some good going on and that's what you need to focus on right now. In the long run I really suggest seeking help from a counsellor or a helpline and to talk with them if you don't have a close friend to talk to.

Hold On! Hold On! Hold On! I know it sounds corny but in time these negative thoughts will pass but you also need to reach out to others and get help. And stop beating yourself up! You're going through a tough time but you are not stupid  you are just like anyone else. A human being struggling through a crisis and in the need of hope and direction. First hold on through the emotional storm. Then go find someone to help you get a plan and direction.

Good Luck,

James