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October 30, 2005, 6:30 pm PST
Just an idea...
Quote From: jjsmomDoes anyone have advice about effective discipline for a child who has begun stealing? My 6 year old (extremely bright and 2 grades ahead in school) has become very sneaky and has twice (that I know about) stolen something - 1) a pack of gum from a store (which I made him bring back to the store manager and confess what he did) and 2) Money from his cousin's purse (which he used to purchase souveniers from a gift shop on a school field trip. My son has always been very clever, but now he is using this talent for evil instead of good, and my husband and I are EXTREMELY concerned about this new behavior. I have done all the things that I think I should, but he just isn't getting the message - He now has to do chores around the house and for his cousin to pay back the money, he's had to return the items to the gift shop, he has written 100 times "I will not take things that don't belong to me" - I have talked to him about all the consequences of being an untrustworthy person, and it just DOESN'T seem to be sinking in. In every other way he is a joy to have around - he is funny, musically talented, helpful around the house, kind to his friends and his older brother, compassionate, and has so many of the traits that any parent would hope for. How do we nip this problem now and make him understand how wrong this is?
Thank you for any help.
You could try making him take back the items and "paying" you for the theft with an item he values, such as a toy. Does he have a TV in his room? Take it away. Also, and this may seem severe, disallow any activity that would put him in a position to steal. Don't take him to stores, don't allow him to leave your side at family functions. Explain to him that until he earns your trust and he has proven that he will not take anything that doesn't belong to him, you must monitor him. It sounds as though he's trying to see what he can get away with. I wouldn't make a huge scene out of it, but stay calm & consistent with the punishment, and stress how disappointed you are. He needs to know that you & your husband will find out if he steals anything else. Could it be possible that he's overheard his apparently older classmates talk about stealing things, and he wants to fit in with them? He could be picking up bad behaviors from being with children who are older, and trying to fit in with them if he's younger than everyone else.
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