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Replies to 'The Meaning of "Family"'

 
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December 27, 2008, 3:23 pm PST

Thank You...

Quote From: jaimie1974

I urge you to speak with her ASAP. Approach her in a gentle manner; don't be angry or on the 'attack,' because that will only create a defensive response in her. Just ask her, "why didn't you buy for your family?" and wait for her answer. Then let her know you 'understand' her reason, but that she still should have done something...

I did speak with her, beginning with asking why she didn't get her brother the gift she had said she was going to purchase for him (he has given up a lot of his own time to help her with her car).  Her response was to tell me that she just "didn't have time" to shop for gifts, or even pick up cards, which is really just an excuse; she did manage to pick up a gift for her best friend, along with some new clothes for herself.  I can't help but think there's something beneath the surface here.  This episode is the last straw - she lives at home and as long as she attends college and gets good grades I don't ask her to pay rent.  Yet, she does nothing to contribute.  Getting her to take care of her room/bathroom, and other responsibilities is like pulling teeth.  Her attitude is typical teenage rudeness, although by now I would have thought maturity was on the horizon and the sweet girl she used to be would come back to us. 

 

There is an entitlement attitude at work here, I think.  We scaled back spending this holiday season and both kids understood why this was necessary.  However, both received the one or two gifts they wanted the most, yet my daughter seemed totally unconcerned that she had nothing in return for her family. 

 

 

 


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