Replies to '12/26 "Brainwashed by My Parents"'

Hi, my story starts when my ex abused me when he found out that I was pregnant with our son. There was tons of emotional abuse before, so I had no strength to leave when it first started. My son was born and the abuse became worse. Then he would use my son against me as threat's about leaving. LIfe has been difficult to say the least. Court took about 4 years, where I was granted full custody, but with quite a bit of visitation for my ex. The court ruling only fuelled his anger that I had full custody. Whenever my son came back from his dad's he was different, and it took a while for him to change back to the warm loving child that I was raising. As he grew, this became more difficult, as his attitude towards me increased.It didn't seem to matter what I said,he didn't believe a word  I would say. My ex has coached my son to believe that I am a horrible person, and that I treat him badly. He has chosen to go and live with his dad, because at 12 the courts say that a child can make that decision, (I don't believe that  a child is old enough at 12 to know what to believe). My ex has charged me with assault, making false accusations towards me to my son, the police, lawyers, my son's school, and anyone else who will listen. He has also made accusations against my mother. He twits words around, and lies constantly. I could see the change in my son over the last two years as he spent more time with his father, because his father doesn't work, comp case. But what can you do! I have always said that a child needs both parents, and never not allowed him to do things with his father. But a boy likes to do boy things with his father. Because I am a single parent, and my ex has remarried they have a picture perfect life, in their eyes, for my son. I feel and have always felt bad for any child that has to live in two homes, but I also feel that they need and should have both maternal parents when possible. My son has left me, and doesn't want to live with me anymore. I am heart broken. Everyone says that he will see the truth some day, but that will take years. And by then, my son will be turned more and more into the horrible evil person that I left in the first place. A word to anyone out there, either male or female, if you are being abused and you leave, and you go to court and win like I did. DON'T STOP THERE, LEAVE THE TOWN THEY ARE IN. I'm sorry but the abuse never ended for me, a now he just uses my son to deliver it. This is horrible and devestating, and I worry so much for my son's life. Even the Child and Family Services worker said she could see an attitude in my son towards women, and unfortunately there is nothing that I can do!!!!!!!! So, I am in favour of puttig PAL in the courts, though very hard to prove, it is a step in the right direction. I do think that any child 12 or whatever age should have to go through counscelling to verify what is really going on to make the child's decision.

Joshysmom4ever