Replies to 'The Meaning of "Family"'

Quote From: jaimie1974

I can understand where you are coming from. Your daughters entitlement hurts your feelings; you know that you raised her better then this yet she is displaying these unattractive characteristics anyway.
When you spoke to your daughter & she gave you her excuse - that she just didnt have time to get gifts - what was your response to that? You know that its a lame excuse.
I also have an 18 year old daughter, and we have the same rules in our home- you work & go to college, you get good grades, and you dont have to pay any rent. But we also have other rules, such as doing your own laundry, if you take something out you put it back, emptying the dishwasher/filling the dishwasher, etc. It sounds like you want to implement those rules, but you get a lot of resistance from your daughter. You said it is like pulling teeth to get her to do anything. The best thing you can do is to sit down with her and tell her that you are revising the house rules; that from this day forward, she is responsible for A, B and C.  (Doing her own laundry is a BIG one! At least start with that!) When she gives you her excuses as to why that wont work, just remain calm and let her know that all you ask is that she complete A, B and C. Also let her know that you are willing to be flexible - for example, she was hurrying to get to class & left dirty clothes on floor or whatever - the point is that she needs to start pitching in. The next day when she doesnt do A, B or C, you MUST approach her about it! Dont put it off or make excuses for her- although this is annoying to have to baby sit her like a small child, you need to do this for your sake as well as for her. If she goes out into the world with this entitlement attitude, she wont have success. She will end up back home on your doorstep. You dont want that. Youve got to have the strength & endurance to create reasonable rules and stick with them because it will make her a better citizen of the world. I wish you the best!!