Replies to '12/26 "Brainwashed by My Parents"'

 Thanks for you reply.

My situation played out in Portsmouth, VA.  I joined a support group and sometimes my children did their homework with other kids while the adults were meeting.  It would have been a great if someone had organized a group for the kids, but that was not the case.  I feel it would have helped a lot if they would had a chance to hear the experience of other kids and have a leader there to talk to them about PAS and how to deal with it.  Going through divorce for the 1st time, it is all new territory.  You really need the advice of those who have gone through it and "know the road".  Someone to say "Watch out for that pothole.".  It takes a lot less energy to avoid a mistake than trying to correct one.  Not really able to make informed decisions, I made a few mistakes that cost me dearly.  Some good advice:  Keep a journal, document everything, it is a useful tool in court.  Every person's experience/situation is different.  What works for one may not work for another.  Too many variables.  But there is safety in numbers.  It would probably be helpful if you could talk to parents that followed the advise you were given and learned the outcome.  Also, the experience of those who wanted their children to have a relationship with both parents so badly that they sacrificed themselves to try to accomplish that.  In either case, in hindsight, what would they do if they had to go through it again.  The same thing or something different.  Finding the right counselor?  Maybe Dr. Phil can help with that.  Best to interview a counselor and get recommendations before starting counseling session if possible.  I got a bad recommendation and because of time constraints did not get to meet the counselor before the sessions.  She was supposed to be a "Christian", but when we arrived she had on a pair of skimpy skorts and sat in a way that I could see skin all the way up to her crotch.  I didn't know where to look, it was embarrassing.  It's no wonder that she called me a "bad dad" in front of the kids because in my wanting to raise my daughters to be modest I did not want them wearing bikinis to the beach.  The guardian ad lit em lied in court and even told my young daughters that daddy might kill them and their mother.  He was protected by his position with the court so that I could not take legal actions for making such horrible accusations.  Believe me I tried.

One last thing.  Check with Dr. Phil and see if there is some place where a weekend seminar/counseling program could be arranged along with other kids going through the same thing.  Maybe if they see and hear what other kids are going through it will wake them up and they would realize that other families are dealing with these same issues, they are not alone, you are not alone.  And if they could hear from children that have learned to deal with PAS and keep a good relationship with BOTH parents, they might believe it is possible for them to stand up to the alienating parent.  They need to made aware of what is happening, recognize it for what it is, and learn how to protect themselves from it.  They need to hear from adults that were victims of PAS when they were children and what happened when as adults they finally figured out the truth.

Hope this helps!