Replies to '10/29 Gender Confused Children'

Let me assure you there is nothing you can do to influence your childs gender identity either way. I am almost 60 years old and wrestled with gender identity from the time I was 3 until I had surgery at age 39. I always wanted to know why me....why me of all the things that could happen to anyone why do I have gender dysphoria.

I was not raised or encouraged to want to be female. My father was a very masculine man and my mother expected us to be typical boys. My Father was even openly homophobic. He expected us to be typical boys. My brother is very masculine. Me however could not understand this need within me to always feel drawn to be female.

I did my best to deny these feelings for years. I took on very masculine work like building houses. I wore a beard and long hair for a long time and looked like a hells angel. I was married and did all the things that an independent male usually does. Fixed my own cars, raised my own food, built my own house. Had a loving wonderful wife and two beautiful children.

After an accident at work where I damaged my shoulder and could barely swing a hammer any more....my world began to colapse. In may ways I had everything I could want......except my true authentic self. I wanted to finish out the rest of my life as female and couldn't without disrupting the lives of three other people directly and others a little less directly.

Gender Identity disorders are real. Toni is right you can brow beat a child into anything....they will always be miserable until they get to be who they really are.

I lost everything to finally get to where I am I only wish that society was more understanding many years ago it would have spared me and many others all of this pain. I feel completed as a human being now. I no longer struggle with who I am. My only regret is hurting my children.

By the way being a transsexual is not at all the same as being gay. As a twenty something I had plenty of oportunities to be with same sex folks.....but I knew that is not who I am. I now have many gay friends but the ones I am closest to are other transsexuals only we know what we go through. I have been celibate for 22 years now. This has nothing to do with who you want to sleep with. Its about how you see yourself in the mirror with no clothes on.

There are many folks who are Hermaphrodite, some who are folks who have testicular feminization syndrome. The body just does not respond to testosterone. In my mind I would say what happens to we who are transsexuals is a form of testicular feminization of the brain instead of the body. 

The best day of my life was the day I started hormone therapy. It began puberty all over again. I became more sensitive than I already had been. laughed more easily, cried more easily. Became guidy like 14 year old girls do. My voice began to change my skin became softer. I still had to suffer through months of electrolysis to get rid of facial hair.