Replies to '06/30 Addicts Transformed'

My daughter has an addicition as well, she is a junkie, I don't like saying that, but I have too..she was a heroin addict and now is recovering, well she was, now its drinking once in awhile but mostly pot use and sleeping pills, she was clean for almost a full year...she had to go on treatment for 1 year an towards the end, she couldn't take it anymore, she wanted to have fun once in awhile...so she did, but she is supposed to be clean from everything, because she has hep c ...:(   and she just turned 25 and she has the worst one 1A the worst one, usually non effective with treatment. Her life has been one big turmoil, 50% of her own doing...she started on drugs very young...11 1/2  crank!!!!!! our lives, her life went down ever since...what stopped her? a murder...jail...and now recovery....if you can call it that....okay, this is too upsetting...i will be back later thanks for listening... 

Boy Dr. Phil did you hit on a very good topic!   

I am a Registered Nurse with a suspended license due to my addiction to prescription pain medication.  As with every pill popper, I began taking this medication for a legitimate disease, endometriosis.  But with each passing day the desire to feel that "good feeling" became more and more intense, until I found that I was actually MAKING UP PAIN to get more pain medication.  This lasted for about 5 years and within that 5 years I was a "functioning" mom who took her son to Boy Scouts, parent teacher conferences, grocery shopped...all the things that "Mom's Do".  Then I hit bottom!  I found a job that I absolutely loved, but also found that this hospital was not "up-to-date" with their narcotic drug dispensing.  I "figured out" how to steal patients pain meds.  I did my job well, no one could tell that I was high but the addiction took over and I got sloppy with "covering my tracks."  The desire to be high was so consuming that it never occured to me that maybe, just maybe there was someone that was on to me.   

I've been clean for over a year now, but unfortunately was in a horrible car accident in which I needed to be on pain medications.  Now I am back to struggling with the cravings, the trying to get it somehow, someway, but I know that I have to be strong and resist the temptation.   

Due to the diversion (prescription drug fraud) I am on a year of probation, facing a Felony 6 drug conviction.  Had a plea agreement in which I would do this probation, remain drug free and after a year my charge would be dropped to a misdemeanor.  In the meantime, the State of Virginia Board of Nursing has suspended my license indefinitely; I'm unable to try get it back for at least 2 years.  Then I'm sure that there will be strict conditions put on my ability to practice nursing, IF i'm even granted re-instatement after the first try.   

I have disappointed my children, actually do not even have physical custody of my children due to my addiction.  They were not taken away from me, but I voluntarily gave them to their father.  My addiction got to the point that I could no longer parent my babies.  My 11 year old calls that time in my life "when you were on the crazy pills."  CRAZY is NOT EVEN the word for it!  INSANITY is what I call it.  I have disappointed so many people in my life over this, but again I know that I cannot keep beating myself up for this forever.  There comes a time when not only do I have to ask those I hurt for forgiveness but to have forgiveness for myself.  Without that I do not think that staying clean is possible. 

I just wanted to add to the story that will be showing up on Friday, of which I am DEFINITELY going to watch.  Thank you for addressing this important topic, because there are so many of us out there that do not know where to turn or even how to admit to ourselves  or someone else that we have this addiction problem.  There is help and all it takes is to ask. 

Marni