I am so very sorry that you lost your son when he was so young.
Please do not feel anymore guilt over what happened on his birthday. I'm sure that he would have long forgotten what happened. You and him had no idea what was going to happen to him did you? So, why blame yourself in any way. This was just a terrible terrible sad accident that happened and there is nothing you can do to change what happened, but what you can do is to go on with your life and remember all the wonderful good times that you had with that beautiful son of yours.
Do you really think that he would want you to be upset like this? No he wouldn't!! He would want you to live your life the best way you can. He knows just how much you loved him and he loved you so much as well.
Please for Mike's sake live your life and enjoy it, you are not to blame for any of this happening and believe when I say that Mike would want you to enjoy your life. I'm sure he's watching over you now and would just want to see you smile that smile that he loved!!
TAKE CARE, LOVE KELLY.
