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June 3, 2006, 5:02 am PDT
Setting Boundaries
Quote From: lisa2menWell I am in a weird situation also, engaged and trying to raise my boys and his. I honestly believe that not raising your children with the two that made them is a punishment from God. No I'm not a religious freak but I'm noticing that no matter how hard I try, the stepchildren will not respond to anyone but the biological parents. Doing good for them is sweet but it's taken for granted and becomes very painful for the outsider (the stepparent). I'm engaged and don't see us making it to the alter because he's not strong enough to raise his kids properly and support me. Don't jump in and get married and get stuck because I am in your situation and know that you should resolve problems in your relationship before you totally commit your life to her. i have a 23 yr. old my husband -sons stepdad- got together when my son was 4- 18 yrs. ago-- we have a 14 yr. old daughter of our own- my son and his stepdad really never have gooten along- its worse for the son because the husband is suppose to be the adult and acts like a kid--you cant disapline a kid and expect them to listen if they dont feel loved by the step-some time the step needs to let the biological parent do the disiplining unless asked for help--its hard for the step-parent -but its just as hard for the biological parent- its tough on the kids to but try to always talk in private- kids are nosey. as my son got older he rebelled- if my husband expected something from him he did the opposite. he drinks-(son) has been in jail moves out moves back in --gets jobs- looses jobs--its a mess- counseling - he wont go- my husband wont even talk to him and hasnt for months because he hasnt had a job for 8 months.he had 2 jobs and worked for 1 day and claims he didnt want to walk 2 miles to work so lost those jobs. my husband has kicked him out 3 times or so-- and wants to kick him out now--- but he doesnt have any respectful friends to stay with all drinkers and drug users- i wont push him back into that again it made things worse he has no grandparents thev have all past--my husband almost moved out a few weeks ago - but didnt-just to get away from him-- they dont even talk or be in the same room- so im pushing my son as much as i can on job applications-what good that does he gets it and wont walk- buses stops are 1 mile away but that seems to be to hard for him to-- i wish i could boot him out again but the previous time made thing worse --sooo any advice??????
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