Quote From: charsageI came here looking for the "panic button" that I remembered Dr. Phil saying he would have on the home page a while back when Dr. Lawliss was on the show, I believe it was a show about anger and parenting. I needed that tonight, and I need some advice. Counting from one to ten has never worked for me- I don't seem to see or feel any signs that I am about to lose it, I just do. I go from zero- full blown 100 mile an hour rage in seconds with my kids when they are fighting. (they are 9 and 8) My husband left 6 months ago, and it worsened a lot since then, and it seems that the pervailing sadness and hopelessness I feel in the back of my mind, all the time, comes out at them and I feel AWFUL afterwards. I don't hit them but I have come awfully close.What I do is SCREAM at them, this is hard to admit, but even right in their faces, and I have grabbed their shoulders and felt so much like throwing them. Of course I know this is SO wrong, and I don't mean to do this to them. I also have bipolar disorder and am taking lithium daily to control it. I have had this rage my entire life and have always felt the need to get it out, either by slamming doors, throwing something, yelling, crying, whatever. I feel like a walking timebomb.
PLEASE help. I am too afraid to seek help from anybody in person as I am sure they will try to take my kids away and I don't think that's what is best for them. I just need some help, and I hate myself for treating them this way.
You really should contact your psychiatrist and tell him/her about your rage issues. He/she may be able to prescribe a med that would help you.
Until then, it may help to remove yourself from the situtation when you feel angry. Pick something to do everytime when anger strikes; whether you take a walk, exercise, meditate, or go to your room and watch TV. Give yourself a time out to cool down. Depending on your children's ages, it may be good to sit down and talk with them. Apologize for your anger and tell them you are working on controlling it.
Maybe someone else will jump in. I wish you and your family well.
