Replies to '10/26 More Sex With Kim Cattrall!'

I don't know how old your children are - but do they go to school? Now you may think I'm terrible for saying this, but if the children are in school - why not take a sick day from work [both of you] and spend the day together? 

Sure, I know - it's terrible to take a sick day when you aren't sick. But you know what? If you get divorced or just live in misery you WILL be sick soon enough. The stress that results from unhappiness is just not healthy.  

So, find a day together when the children are in school and then DON'T spend the day cleaning the house or talking about money. Snuggle! Take a bubble bath together! Hold hands! Sit on the couch and cuddle while you watch a movie! Whatever puts the two of you together is a good thing.  

I've been married for almost 27 years now, two children, both still at home, and sometimes we just need some time to be together without anyone else around. It feels like a date. And the 'naughtiness' of calling in sick just adds a little spice to the day.  

Live your life - remember, you don't get a do-over.  

I'm 46 so it isn't your age.  Most of this is in your head but there is some prep that can help. I find  that I need some time, usually in the shower, to switch gears from mommy to lover.  I need to relax and focus on feeling everything-the water and the soap. I touch myself all over and imagine the things we are going to do.  

Then, having privacy to groom and dress for pleasure helps.  It can be really erotic to smooth lotion over your just shaved fun bits and slick some lipstick on. I have a whole drawer full of lingerie-just wearing thigh high stockings and cute undies makes me feel sexual. 

but sometimes I think my husband gets tired of me.
 

That is the death knell to happy frolicks. To have a happy sex life you need to make him feel like he is the sexiest man ever and vice versa.  If you are feeling undesired by him, you won't be able to open up and experiment. 

Girl, I'm in the exact same boat...married 15 yrs, 2 active kids, 7 pets, and started a business a few months ago...  When I do get a few minutes the last thing I want is to have sex.  It's so hard to get out of "mommy mode" and into some sexual goddess mode.  I don't know about anybody else, but I need time to make that transformation emotionally.   

I don't know what the answer is, but I do that know that the following things are wrong in our relationship: 

-we don't get time alone together.  maybe we just don't make time because we have a hard time communicating that often we end up arguing anyway.  We can argue at home for free! 

-We don't communicate...flirting and laughing are important parts of a relationship.  I think that they are the things that make us fall in love in the first place. 

-There's no affection.  If we're in the same 3 foot radius, it's considered fore-play!  I would like more affection for no apparant reason! 

-Guys need to try a little... even though we're married, we still need to be romanced.  Don't just say..."are you ready? here I come!" 

-And lastly...he was much more attractive before I became his "mother!"  Can we really be excited over a guy for whom we clean his dirty underwear, bathroom aim problems, hear his nasty sounds, etc.?   

I think that  sexual issues are  more a symptom of other issues in the marriage rather than the cause of the problems... 

I don't think that it's mostly you...it's just life...take the good days (or weeks) with the bad and just do the best you can!   Sometimes I have to just poke myself to make sure it's still alive...LOL