Replies to 'How Childhood Abuse Still Affects Me'

My sister bought my parents house.  When we were little kids my father lined us all up and it was near sunset.  He said "watch" as a pall mall cigarette was out his mouth.  I was the youngest of the four kids. He threw in our family pet cat and closed it in with cement....I saw this...I was 5 or 6 I saw this...

Let me bring you to today...

My sister is away up in Maine.  She is getting a "new" deck added on. So the old deck was taken off and nobody is there.  In the backyard where my father closed it in a lone set of steps go to the back door.  Just the decks outline is there.  Today July 31, 05 with my sister and her husband's permission even though she said "Why Dad's dead anyway"  I went and I prayed and I started knocking down the part that he sealed up.  There was alot of junk in there.  Bricks, and to me it looked like actually bone with cement on it and so I called my husband who was across town and he came and looked and he said "What is this what you called me for? Look at this this is old brick this is old cement...."

I told him he just doesn't get me or my pain or the why I needed to do that...

I don't know about any of you but have you ever been in a relationship where you had to on a daily basis keep bringing your brain energy down keep bringing it down?

I dont know if you know what I mean......But anyway...Have a good rest of your weekend....xoxo