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Replies to '12/29 "Is This Normal?"'
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October 24, 2005, 6:46 pm PDT
 Quote From: llandes My mother and i have a strange relationship. in fact, we hardly have a relationship at all. i have a sister who is 3 years younger than me, and my mom has always treated her better. you may call me bitter, but it's the way i feel. my dad and i have always gotten along, but my mom and i never really did. she has always been closer to my sister than to me. maybe it's because she's the baby... i don't know for sure. it's very odd because my mother was in the same order of children in her family as i. she was the 2nd youngest of 6 children, as am i. and she even had a little sister, who she thought was treated better than her as well. so why didn't she see this and try not to do the same thing as her mother? because of our not so good relationship, i feel that i cannot talk to her. and this causes me to sneak around. i've been sneaking around ever since i was in the 5th grade up until recently when i was finally caught. maybe i wanted to be caught. but it didn't help. she still doesn't pay any attention to me. my little sister can come home and just release all her problems to my mom and they'll talk it all out. my sister will talk, my mom will listen. but if i try to do the same thing, my mom is too busy with something else. whether it's the phone, or work, or even my little sister. is this normal? is the way that im feeling normal? or is it just a phase that i'll get over once i move out of the house? what can i do to prevent this from happening when i have children myself? I got from your post that that you don't feel entitled to talk to your mother.
I'm the mother to 6 too and all my kids are different. Each has a variable aptitude to be independent, artistic, talkative, helpful, nonconformist, or charming than the others. Each comes with it's hardships and joys and differences in "motherhood".
As hard as it may be don't compare your relationship with your mother to your sister's. Create your relationship the way it works for you. I believe this comes within yourself to feel that you're entitled to be who you are; that takes courage to ask for what you need and be willing to give and accept the other person even for their flaws.
A friendship, even with your mother, is a gift you give yourself. You will develop greater understanding, patience, and confidence by freely giving to her. And gain much more in return than by waiting for it to be given to you.
As Ghandi said something like: " Be the change you wish to see in the world". You and your mother will be amazed and proud at how bright your light shines. Good Luck :)
It only takes the courage of... JUST ONE One song can spark a moment, One life can make a difference, |
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